Church without Walls...

The word church without walls has come to mean so much to us Christians over the years. A gathering of people under the open skies and a place where people can come outside of regular church to freely express themselves before God. I have had this topic in my head for a while, all month to be exact but for different reasons; I have started different pieces and never finished them till tonight.

I believe the term “church without walls” should not exist in the world today. For no other reason but this, it captures the very essence of the church which really is a gathering of believers regardless of location, restrictions and vocation. Why do I say so-what makes up a church? A church is where 2 or 3 are gathered with God in their midst (Matthew 18:20). Need I say more? Paul and Silas started as that, going all about Asia and Europe spreading the good news everywhere they went, with God in their midst. Not on the Sabbath, but on a daily basis. But I digress.

We have reached a point in the history of man where things have been so compartmentalized that life has become full of different little boxes containing answers to everything. Salvation and church going has become a brand name, with people becoming tools to the very thing Paul preached against when he warned the early church about taking sides in the kingdom. We have specialized business healers, specialized miracle workers, young peoples church, old peoples church, specialized demon and enemy killers. All these brands are packaged into 2 or 3 hour specials at different times of the 'holy day'. Choose your time, get your fix and move out back to the world to do your business anyhow you see fit. These brands flourish, turning what started freely and openly to compartments of distrust, competition, greed and strife. Where do we draw the line?

We spend so much time out of our already limited time with God looking for stuff from Him. I wonder how many of us have said today; Lord I will worship you today because you have been faithful even when I have not. Worship for who he is, not for what he can do. The worship of Abel, the worship of Abraham, the worship of Solomon was worship that made them confident enough to stand before His presence. Though we are many, we are one body, one body in Christ with Him alone as our head (Romans 12:5). Regardless of church, religion or location we are one (John 17)

Rather than wall him up to one day, have a church without walls wherever you are and whenever it hits you.

As always, Live strong.



Words of a song came to my mind as I wrote this. It’s my first actual shot at song writing, I will shyly add it for your viewing.

I'll worship you, for who you are

King of Glory, that's who you are,

Creator of everything, that's who you are.

I'll worship you, for who you are.



When I am cold, when I am lonely,

Poor and lowly, tears keep rolling,

My heart is aching, oh Lord I am breaking.

I still worship you, for who you are.



Let your presence, fill my heart,

May your glory shine through my life.

King of Glory, Lord Almighty

I'll worship you, I'll worship you

Why should He trust you?

It has been a while since I have written anything, over a month and I must admit, I am ashamed of myself yes I said it. I am also sorry, no excuses, only apologies. In the light of this, or under the shadow as the case may be, falls my post.

We talk about the grace of God, His mercies, his loving kindness amongst many other things and we talk about our absolute faith and confidence in Him. I read a scripture today Psalm 78 and in it the writer talked about the stubbornness of the people of Israel, quite a read if you ask me. However, I read the post today and I asked myself, why should God trust me? What can I say that he has not heard before? Promises to abstain from sin, to follow him with all my heart, if you have read my post -church without walls, then you see that most times I restrict to particular days and hours of my life, He does not even have full access.

How can He trust me to keep my word and my promises to Him? I have not seen the Red Sea parted, I have not tasted manna, I haven’t spent up to 24 hours a day in his presence and I most definetely haven’t done it 24/7. The Israelites did and yet they still failed Him repeatedly. In that light, who am I?

"But then they would flatter him with their mouths, lying to him with their tongues; their hearts were not loyal to him, they were not faithful to his covenant. Yet he was merciful; he forgave their iniquities and did not destroy them. Time after time he restrained his anger and did not stir up his full wrath. He remembered that they were but flesh, a passing breeze that does not return."- Psalm 78, 36-39

We all know the drill, Sunday of praise worship and requests to God, every morning when we remember, more praise, worship and more requests, maybe Wednesday service maybe some other time spent in church. In between those times, struggling hard not to go astray and in most cases failing miserably, I wonder how can He trust me. Obedience is better than sacrifice, you sacrifice your time go to church with lying lips promising obedience and faithfulness which most times we do not keep, I won’t even begin to talk of tithes and offerings, sacrifices that do not matter if obedience is not first and foremost in our hearts and lives.

A loyal heart, faithful to His promise, the promise today of salvation, a Son sent to die that whoever believes would not perish but have everlasting life. Hearts loyal day in day out, even in secret places like Daniel, Shedrach, Meshach and Abednego. Faithful and loyal enough like Job 13:15 to say Yet he slay me, still will I serve Him.

You want to know a sacrifice that will move the heart of God, here it is. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit and a broken and contrite heart. O God, you will not despise, a heart broken in truth.

The Search for Lazarus

“He s not dead, he is only sleeping, he can easily be awoken with just the right shove, the right nudge. Be very wary in your search for Lazarus”

I have been searching for a long time now, this search for Lazarus. He was my friend, the very best of them. He knew me inside out, just as I knew him, in my earlier years, we had spent so much time together and we were literally one. I am not too sure when I lost him, but I do know it has been a while and I have combed this earth searching for him. Been to many different churches, come across many different doctrines, I have come across so many people who knew him, knew of both of us together and where sincerely shocked that we were not together. Most times the people that knew us together had last seen us together, other times, the people that didn't suggested ways and means of getting him back. Some methods were downright shocking, others I closed my ears to, the ones that seemed somewhat reasonable, I tried. With time however, I found myself trying the downright shocking and listening to things I would have closed my ears to. I met false teachers, moved with false leaders, talked to people who were so far gone they didn't know who they were so how would they know where to find my friend and brother Lazarus. I searched for so long, so hard and so wide, up till today.

I just realised however that I and Lazarus were one, in more than one sense. We were one and the same. You ask how? I had been dead in sin for so long, doing the things that killed me spiritually and prepared me for a greater death after and Christ saved me. Just like He did so long ago over the tomb of Lazarus, He stood over the tomb that was my life, my dead sinful life, pronounced me forgiven and proclaimed that I come out. All I have been doing all along is search for that sinful nature. In my search for Lazarus, I had come across all sorts, people, information, temptations, you call it, I saw it, you tell it, I experienced it, all for a notion, a belief that I had all along inside of me. I am not dead, I am not sleeping either. I am alive because He proclaimed it so, I search no more because He lives in me. Lazarus my friend, my brother, I search no more for you.

You were dead in sins and your sinful desires were not yet cut away,
Then He gave you a share in the very life of Christ, for he forgave all your sins,
He blotted out the charges proved against you, the list of his commandments
You had not obeyed. He took this list of sins and destroyed it by nailing it.
Nailing it to Christ's cross. By this, He took away Satan's power to accuse you of sin,,
and God openly displayed to the whole world Christ's triumph at the cross,
Where your sins were taken away (Col 2:13-15) God openly displayed YOU!!!

Shalom

Lessons from Japan

"And yea, though I walk through the valley of shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff they comfort me" Psalm 23:4

When I heard of the events in Japan, the quake, the tsunami and the radio-activity, I was in shock. If there was ever a word that could describe all those events in one word then it would be this "Overkill". Just any of the one would have been enough, instead they had all three.

Any other country, any other place the news may have been filled with stories of refugees trooping out of the country to neighbouring countries, not in Japan. I came across an article last week, that described the attitude of the people of Japan after the events. It is described as a shame to run from the current events happening in that country. A shame regardless of if you are a foreigner or a citizen of Japan. Everyone is expected to stay and fight in their struggle for survival.
In another event, a man braved a tsunami, to take his boat out to sea, his reason? To ensure that the people of the island he lived in could have a way to get off their island when the storm passed. One man on a boat, braved a tsunami and survived. Where there others? Maybe, but no one else made it except him. Today his boat was key to saving countless lives.
What is the point of this, what are the lessons I take from this?

The discipline enforced in the lives of the Japanese, is one that is so deep that regardless of the situation, it always shines through. Looking at the reactions of the Japanese to recent events and comparing it to similar events around the globe and the reactions, one can see a difference. Isn't that something that should shine out in the lives of Christians? No not discipline but godliness.

We all have our individual battles we fight in our lives, at work, at home, school, church, on the roads we walk or drive down. Sometimes we fall, sometimes we fail, sometimes we succeed, other times we give up. We choose to run and be safe when we could stand for our rights, our lives, we choose to defer to tomorrow what can be done today, we choose to ask people to step in for tasks we could handle by ourselves. In summary we hand over the control of our lives to things, people and powers that by right, have no right to our lives. Point is, it is your life to live, no one else, you were born into it for a reason, for a purpose and as a Christian, NOTHING, should change that focus. We are soldiers, ambassadors for a greater purpose, a higher calling and although we battle against principalities and powers, we have One in us that is greater than any one outside of us.

Who/What can separate us from the love of Christ?
Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:35-39

If you are saved and won't fight for yourself, fight for the ones still lost or even better fight for the ones yet unborn

My heart goes out to the people of Japan.
Live strong

Heartfelt Rambling

If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with her
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love to dance with my mother again.
Luther Vandross (edited)

If there is anyone on earth you will regret not spending enough time with when they pass on, or just before you pass on, then now is the time to do something about it.

I started this piece like any other, not with a goal in mind, just a way to pen my thoughts, my feelings. I don't even have a title. Been thinking of my mum recently and it is hard, really hard when the vision you have of loved ones begin to fade. It also hurts like crazy and no, pictures don't quite cut it. I wrote the first paragraph with my mum in mind when the news came in that my aunt died this evening. I remember her, always willing to help, she left behind 5 kids who lost their dad about 5 years ago, orphans now. Now that hit me, hit me like a 2 ton truck, hit me in such a way that I have no idea what I am writing at the moment, I am just letting it flow.

I have wondered at random times what living a life without regrets means. I now believe that it means that at the last moments, you can look back on your life and smile, just before you pass on. Smile a smile that embodies the statement "I have fought the good fight and I have finished the race". A smile that starts from the heart and peaks out where your lips begin.

I have always wondered why I shut the world out when I am hurting, now I believe and know that true sincere healing starts from within. Anything else can not last ends up as fake or at best a poor substitute..

I wondered why some wounds take so long to heal, till it was explained to me that the wounds do heal, but they leave scars and the memories when we see those scars are what hurt us. The memories are what hurt me at the moment.

I wonder why we walk through life most times, closing our eyes to the people around us, I am not talking about strangers, but friends, family members sometimes even closing our eyes to ourselves. We wrap ourselves in our shells to protect us and only realize(most times too late), how we have missed some of the most important moments in life.

I wonder why no matter how much I shut myself up when I am hurting, I end up taking so much longer to heal than when I open up and let someone in, someone I love and trust.

I feel so tired at the moment, weary. I do hope the piece below touches someone, someone like me, tired, weary, locked up in their own shell, wanting to heal, but not knowing how. You are not alone.


One of them days
A morning, the beginning of a bright new day,
I haven't slept enough, but must still get up,
I up my hygiene, go down on my knees and pray,
Lord let Your will be done till the day is gone.
On a usual day, this would be a beautiful day,
Today I can feel a cloud, I feel something missing,
I feel cold, can't shake that nagging feeling
There is an empty feeling that lingers

It is so easy to dwell on the cold, the shivers,
Even easier to wallow in hurt and pain that hinders,
Point fingers, push blame, riddled with grief,
Shot by bullets, from many a man's mischief.
Shut yourself up, so people won't see,
Tears keep flowing, won't let you be,
That space in your heart ever increasing,
The numbness it brings never ceasing.

I remember the sunny days gone by, happy days,
I remember the storms in between and I smile
Because I remember the rainbows in between,
Samples of love, promises of warmth to come.
So easy to forget when dark times come,
What it feels like to be warm and loved,
Easy to forget in pain, that its just one chain,
A chain which once broken opens the door to life.

Jaidi

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

God knows I miss her. My heart goes out to my cousins.

Unfinished business...

So I had one of this spur of the moment thoughts and I decided to pen my thoughts down carefully, before it gets lost in all that gray matter that is my brain. My thoughts wander a lot and I guess tonight I was thinking of all the people out there who have kinda given up on themselves and let go of dreams, visions and ideas they have had and held on to for so long. For the ones who have been down and under for long thinking all hope is lost, you are unfinished business. Here are my thoughts, my words, I pray and hope they shine through to you, like they will and do to me right now.

Unfinished business
I had this dream while still a child,
To touch lives, even if I was wild,
Things changed, or I thought it did,
But my mind kept coming back to it,
Its my life, its my passion, I live for it,
Cos helping people is my unfinished business

In my teens I am searching for gold,
I am a rebel and I am out in the cold,
My mama says, God bless her soul
Come home son, I ain't done with you yet.
You may be stubborn, silly, difficult too,
But I love you, you are unfinished business

So your Savior has been knocking all this while,
You have lied, cheated, been through all sorts,
Been running for so long your chest hurts
You are bone tired, you got fear in your guts
Still sinning? He has been waiting all this time
Patiently, because you are unfinished business

Don't give up son, hold on my sister,
Just around the corner waiting is laughter.
Dreams gone cold will burst to flame,
Ideas forgotten will give you fame.
Those words, thoughts, ideas will come again,
Light them up, they are unfinished business


Jaidi
With love

The "Guilty Aftertaste" (Bittersweet)

You look so nice, so fine,
Your taste, like fine wine,
You are the envy of the crowd,
Anyone would love to make you theirs
I would too, oh yes I really would
The only problem is this,
I am in love with someone else.

Now if I were single and searching, that would be the word on my lips each time I walk the streets and meet a fine young woman. You are fine, yes, beautiful, classy, all the lovely names you call women of this time and age (the good ones). However my interest in them would be directly proportional to my capacity to have more than one person in my heart. We would talk, laugh, hang out, have fun, but there would be a line through all this, that if I dare cross would leave me with feelings so guilty, they would suppress anything else.

Now let us leave the streets and let us meet, let us tell tales of you and me, come let us reason together and bare heart and mind in ways we have not before. Now if you have ever woken up in the morning having in your heart and mind the thought that if only I had stayed back, if only I hadn't gone out, things would have been a lot different. Made a decision, not a decision that takes you through a series of bad events, but a decision that leaves a bad taste in your mouth, then you know exactly what I am talking about here, “the guilty after taste”. I did a lot during my years in school but because of a decision I made as a teen, all my experiences always left a bad taste, a feeling of regret. I made a decision to love Someone with all my heart, my soul and my strength and anything I did that was contrary to my love, left me with a feeling of sadness, emptiness, pain. You call it, I felt it. The same feeling that made Adam go into hiding, the same feeling that hit David every time the realization hit him of going astray. The same feeling that hit Simon Peter right after the third cock crow, the feeling that hit Judas just before he hung himself.

So there you have it, I hang out with friends and we have fun and we laugh and then we go home and all is fine with me, but if I take anything having a percentage with it, I feel awful the next day, not physically but emotionally. I see a girl looking really fine, if I walk up to her having or harboring thoughts, if I try to get with her, I wake up the next morning feeling awful. Some call it conscience, this guilt, some try to bury it in alcohol, drugs and many different activities that are but a poor imitation of the true feeling and they fail, when they fail they try and wave the feeling off. Not because they do not try hard enough, but because really you cannot fill the void left by someone who is everything to you, your all in all. No amount of alcohol, drugs or fun can fill that space, if anything it makes the hole even bigger, so they spend their life wasting away, in pursuit of something that simply is unattainable.

Now some people say kill the conscience, but then I don't truly believe your conscience truly dies, just like I do not believe that bitter taste can go away, no matter how much sweet stuff you drink,, but then that is my belief not yours. I also believe that if you truly loved, no matter what happens, that love still remains, it may become dusty, it may fade a bit, but it ever remains. Look at it this way, there are two kinds of lost sheep, the ones that get lost and the ones that set out with purpose on a journey. With the first, circumstance leads them astray, they get that guilty after taste almost everyday and the shepherd is ever searching and looking for ways to bring them back to the fold, that is the first kind. With the second kind, leaving the fold with purpose, tries to fill up the void, sweetens his mouth and heart with the good things of life and tries to kill the conscience. For this second kind, if this is you, there is still hope.

Come back to your first love, remember the days gone by that were so sweet. Did it not mean something to you? Come back to your first love, ever waiting, ever ready to receive you. Come back to your love.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

Your two talents

But he that had received one talent went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord's money Matthew 25:18

I can imagine what that day would have been like, master calls servants together and he begins to share out the cash. To Simon, five talents, to Stephen four talents, Timothy got five as well, Matthew got three and I got two. I would have looked at my master in surprise, I would have looked at the other servants and wondered why. I would have wondered why they got more talents than I did. In my anger I would most likely have done what the servant did in a story told so long ago. In my anger, sorrow or whatever feeling I had, I would most likely have hidden the talents in the ground.

Today as with any other day, we get things, be them gifts; cash or kind, jobs, responsibilities, we get things in different sizes and different packaging. Now two things happen after we receive; firstly the manner in which we receive these gifts/responsibilities, secondly what we do after we have received. On the other hand there is the question what have we done to merit these gifts or responsibilities? In our work places most likely a result of hard work, with our family, friends and loved ones most likely as a result of being part of our lives. I am not writing on this day to talk about promotions, birthday gifts, thank you gifts and the likes. I am writing today to talk about God's free gift to us. Now the question is, what are these gifts, we have the fruits of the spirit, in our daily lives, there is a lot we do take granted (naming them will go beyond what I am talking about today).
There are a couple of things I did take note of in the passage;
Firstly

Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them Matthew 25:14

In the passage, the servants were entrusted with his wealth. Now looking at this, I am reminded of another passage in the Bible,

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”Matthew 28:18-20

It is one thing to share wealth and it is another to entrust. Entrust is to leave something in the care or protection of someone else.


Secondly,

He gave to each according to his ability Matthew 25:15b

Anyone remember the song by Kirk Franklin, "More than i can bear"? Simply put, it says God will not put more than you than you can bear, He will always make a way out for you as long as you put your trust in Him.

Why do I pull out the two different parts? It starts with a package, which for naming purposes I call "the two talents", some might have more, no one however has less. And it is given to us according to our abilities. Now some as stated in the parable, tend to get upset, wish they had more and some even go as far as burying these talents. But then they were entrusted to us, that we make the most out of it. I am not talking of gold, silver or precious things. I am talking of the free gift given us that is worth more than any of earth given substance. I speak of forgiveness and grace.
What have you done with your two talents today? Have you used it according to your Master's wishes or have you buried it underground? Are you jealous of others, desired more or have you used what you have in your hands?
Moses thought he was not able, Gideon thought he was not able, many people down the years have thought they were not able, but still with God, they did great things. What have you done with your two talents? It was what the 12 disciples started with, it was what Paul started with, it is what every believer starts with; forgiveness and grace. From those two, great things have sprung up and can spring up with you, yes even you.

Note: Talents here refer to money and not natural gifts inborn in all of us. Forgiveness and grace are free gifts, given to us as result of true repentance and being born again.

By the rivers of Babylon...

By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered ZionPsalm 137:5-6.

Its evening, a cool breeze, smells of flowers in the air and right in front of me is one of the most beautiful sights the eye can behold or imagine, beautiful waters, teeming with fish, rivers lush with green grass topped with wonderful looking trees, it is the river of Babylon. It is a sight so good it would make an artist drool but I gaze down from where I sit with tears rolling down my eye, because I know for sure, that where I come from for so many reasons, is a lot better, I know that where I come from, I was free.

Its late at night, I enter a night club, music is blasting, people are dancing, I have this stunning lady by my side we walk to the bar, order a couple of drinks meet up with friends. Everyone looks like they are having fun. The music is good, the company is even better and my friends sometimes they are just the best. Not tonight though, tonight I remember the last time I was in His presence and I know for sure that tonight is nothing compared to that.

He looks so handsome in his wedding suit, dazzling smile on his face as he beholds his bride. Her wedding dress is beautiful, her walk so graceful. Everyone looks at her and then look at him, he is the envy of all the single men. All eyes turn back to the bride as she makes her way to him. If only they could look beneath the veil and see the fear in her eyes, if they could feel her heart beat fluttering in fear because she is so unsure. Am I doing the right thing? Why am I here? If only they could have a glimpse of her thoughts as she remembered the last time she was totally happy, with "that guy". He made her laugh, he brought her joy. She may have lacked a couple of things, but he made her happy.

Three different stories from three different times, the same meaning though, practically the same story line. I mentioned in my post Pillar of Salt about the effects of leaving a situation at the right time and leaving your heart in it. Today I am writing about leaving the right situation, sometimes unwillingly, most times by choice.
Babylon was a wonderful place, a beautiful city, beautiful land full of all sorts and manner of people. Does that remind you of similar situations and temptations that cross our path? Sometimes more money just isn't worth it, sometimes being more handsome or more beautiful isn't a high enough price to pay. So many reasons we give (really excuses) to walk out of different situations because we just feel that where we are just isn't worth it.

How can we sing the songs of the LORD while in a foreign land?
If I forget you, Jerusalem, may my right hand forget its skill. May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth if I do not remember you, if I do not consider Jerusalem my highest joy. Psalm 137:4-6

I read that passage tonight and I remember all the things I told myself when i was younger. No drinking, no smoking, womanizing being just a few. I kept all these until I got to my Babylon. I broke all my rules, every single one of them. One thing I know for sure, I had no peace, not for a day or a night all through that time. We make promises, we vow, make rules and we are so sure we will keep them. We make those promises long before we gaze on Babylon, long before we see beauty good enough to make our gaze, make our memories waver, make our steps falter long before we slowly begin to fall. Now the question is, what is your Babylon? Are you in a new place, a job, a city? Have things gotten a lot more interesting lately? There is a new guy/gal in the house and you just can't shake off that interest? You just made new friends that have brand new habits and you just one to try something new? You forget promises made, songs sang, the prayers made on knees not too long ago. You forget it all when you come face to face with Babylon.
I can assure you of three very true things;
Firstly, Babylon is no more, Mount Zion still stands. Secondly, Mount Zion has always been and will always be more beautiful that Babylon. Finally, you are not alone. Peter fell flat on his face several hours after he promised that he would stay true, it is what you do after you land in Babylon that matters.

Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised in the city of our God, in the mountain of his holiness. Beautiful for situation, the joy of the whole earth, is mount Zion, on the sides of the north, the city of the great King. Psalm 48:1-2

And I looked down at Babylon, remembered Zion and wept...

A time for everything... (A time to mourn)

When it's dark and cold, when the tears don't cease their flow,, when hope is cold, fears blazing, when despair perpetually knocks on my door. Help me see, help me know that You are near

I remember that morning, a morning from years gone by. I was young, in my early teens and that morning it was my duty to take the waste out and I did; two problems though, the dump was a 20minute walk from my house and it was about 5.30am in the morning. End result? I got myself arrested because unknown to me, the government had declared that area as unfit for dumping waste. Imagine this, a young teen arrested at about 6am in the morning, you can imagine how frightened I was (or was I?). But then imagine this, how worried my mother was when I didn't come home. A while after, my mum came to look for me, she found me kneeling down with several other culprits and my mum did something that today, brings tears to my eyes, she knelt beside me and told the officials (that is what I think they were), to take her instead. She pleaded, she begged and finally they let us go on the condition that we cleaned up the area. Today, many years later, that is what I remember, my mum kneeling beside me even more scared and worried than I was. My mum died on the 4th of April 2009. This is just one of the many memories I have of her.

I remember that afternoon, I was a student working over the holidays. I was driving and a colleague of mine, a student as well, was a passenger; he asked me to take him home to pick up some stuff. He lived in a part of town known for serious and most times brutal gang battles. The whole country knew of that area. I was freaked out that afternoon but I took him because he asked and because I believed him when he told me not to be scared. It was my first time in that part of town and till today I remember that afternoon, we talked, we laughed made the trip and got back in one piece. He lived with His grandma because his parents didn't stay in that town. I still remember that morning, the 1st of January 2007. I saw an elderly woman crying on TV while being interviewed, crying because the police wouldn't give her access to her grandson. That is how I got to find out that Clement had been shot dead that morning during a gun fight between the police and gang members. He was on his way back from church.

As a child I would never have understood what it cost my mother to see her son arrested or detained for something he knew nothing about, as a father I now do. As Clement's friend, knowing the life he lived while alive, there is no way he could have been a gang member, no way in my mind he would have deserved death, but now I know better. We live in a world with so many different memories, a lot of time we choose to shut out the pain, to act like we don't care. Sometimes we choose to dwell in the pain, in the hurt and we end up with heart breaks. I don't know which you choose but then I do know this, "there is a time to mourn and a time to dance". There is a balance. I chose two examples on this day to share and say this that no matter how dark it gets, light always finds a way to shine through. We mourn, focusing on the death, the reasons. We question God and sometimes we tend to stray towards losing our faith. There is a time to mourn and mourn properly not focused on the death, but focused on the lives lived here on earth. Then and only then can our mourning be turned into dancing again. Then we can focus on the light, the glimmer of hope that shines through the darkness and reaches out to us, then we can reach out to it and have our tears break up with smiles, joy and laughter.

Smiles of joy, tears of laughter,
Breaking through hearts in despair,
Rays of hope, myriads of light,
Shining through the darkest night.
A time to mourn, a time to dance,
The time is now, stretch out your hands
To healing, a broken heart,
To find your way, o lost soul
To revival, a wavering life

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Though we are many, we are one. We face the same fears for different reasons, we cry the same tears for different reasons, we find hope however for similar reasons, we find life for the same reason, the One who came to save us all, He is our Light, our Life, our Hope.

You will smile again

Pillar of Salt...

Sometimes we claim to move on, but sometimes we leave our hearts behind. be careful when you look back, remember Lot's wife

The opportunity it comes but once. Whether it be once in a lifetime, a decade or a year, a month or a week, a day, an hour or even in a second. There comes a time when the choice you make can determine how the rest of your life, year, month, week or day can become. I am not talking of those life changing moments where the big contract shows up, or the big job, or the addition to your home. I am talking about the moment when you choose to look back to the past, that moment when you choose to look back at what you have left behind. That point where you don't just look back but begin to miss or long for the things you rightly left behind.
Most times we claim we have moved on, we say things are fine and well, but the truth is sometimes we leave our hearts behind, we leave something behind that makes us look back. A something (if I may add) that makes looking back seem entirely worth it.
Breaking up a relationship for the right reasons but missing it every now and then?
Walking out in a compromising situation but missing its security?
Leaving company you used to keep to prevent introduction to vices you can't handle? But oh its Friday night and don't you just long for their company a lil' bit?
There are countless examples I am sure apply to us in our different areas in life. You know best, its your life just like I know best about mine.
We all talk about withdrawing a little bit at a time but a lot of times, the things we desire or we claim to want turns it all on its head. Today I ask, which is more important? The work of your hands or the desires of your heart? I say this now, with a better understanding of what it may truly mean, I am saying it now with a slightly different perspective. What I have, what you have right now, who you are, who I am right now matters more than who you were or who you are going to be. I am a sinner (now), I was a happy Christian two days ago, but right now, I HAVE to repent. I may be a happier Christian tomorrow, I may be worse off, but right now I need to repent. I could use many different examples, but I will use just one, me.
I am a father, the father of a five year old child I hardly ever see. Not because I don't want to, but because time, distance and conditions (in the past) made it more convenient to stay away from him.
I am single and many times truly, I think and I wish I had a wife to be at least, I wish I had a baby girl. That however has not happened yet, it is my heart's desire. While many would say work towards it, the truth is I have a child from the works of my hands, it is what I have now. So this year and quite recently, I have decided that this is what matters to me, not a wife to be, or a daughter to be, but a father at the moment.
I know who I am, I know what I have even better I have learned to understand God's gift to me, I know where I have been and I understand there is still a long journey ahead, so I start looking ahead, focused on the now, focused on the works of my hand living in the present, God's gift to my life.
Not the wife or the family I could have, but the family I have at the moment, not looking down on the colleagues I have at the moment because of the job I am looking towards, there is a long list, add to it as you please.
Remember these two things however;
- The only time you have is now, it is the only time you have to see what IS important, use it wisely
- if He can clothe the birds of the air and the flower of the field, how much more a child of His? Is anything too difficult for Him? Eye has not seen, ears have not heard about what He has prepared for you, only if you believe NOW, only if you live for Him, NOW.

Now is the appointed time, now is the day of judgment.