Closer....

"A man of many companions may come to ruin but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

Have you ever known someone, who mattered more to you than anyone else, who mattered so much to you that a day spent not seeing or hearing from the person just did not feel complete. Am not talking of a husband/wife, not talking of a boyfriend/girlfriend. I am talking of a friend.
True friendships are rare, hard to find and so very difficult to forget. I use the word true because there are a lot of relationships that can be confused as friendships. When push comes to shove however, these relationships break and fall apart, under pressure, from outside and within, that person just doesn't fit the bill. With true friendship, distance makes you cherish not forget the relationship, time makes the bond stronger, conflict brings you closer together. Friend takes priority over anything or anyone else, a friend that sticks closer than a brother/sister. A friend that knows you better, a lot better than anyone else or even your friend. A lovely relationship indeed.
There was friendship like that in the bible, the relationship between Jonathan and David, a friendship so deep that Jonathan had no troubles about giving up his princely duties for David, was willing to risk his life for David. David cared so much for his friend that he took priority over the women of that time. That is something rare to find, so rare indeed that when David became king, he looked for something of his friend that he could cherish (Mephibosheth).

Now I look at that relationship and think of my relationship not with men, but with God. Oh yes I mean my relationship with God. I want to get to a place where God takes priority over anything else in my life, a place where if I do not speak or hear from Him each day, my heart would not just want to break but be literally breaking. There was a kind of relationship that Enoch had with God that made God take him straight up to heaven before he died, the kind of relationship God had with Moses that made him take up his body and bury him, David was called the man after God's own heart. Daniel did not ask God to close up the lions' mouth, ELijah had given up, God fed him and encouraged him. What more can you ask for? You are down and you have God, God himself to encourage you. Moses actually saw the back of God. These are men, men like you, men like me. Are the ladies being left out? Oh no, because the one thing I would like to ask is this, who remained at the cross by Jesus when all others had abandoned Him? Who saw him first after He was risen?

Why am I saying all this? There is a song I have been listening to for some time now, over and over again. It is a song I know, but a song that just fits at the moment. I am in a new place, a new experience and after the initial period where one flounders, oh yes I should still be in that stage, but all of a sudden a lot of things don't matter anymore, God does. Will share some of the lines and just say why they fit and make so much sense to me at the moment.

Closer - William McDowell

Into your arms
I’m drawing near again
To dwell with you
It’s my only heart’s desire
It’s my only heart’s desire

All I can do
Is fall on my knees and cry
Cleanse me with fire
And purify my heart

Draw me close
Closer than before
Closer than I’ve ever been

If you were the prodigal child, returning to your father's house, what would matter most to you? Would it just be gaining back what you lost? Or would it be gaining back what you lost and more? Or would it just be about getting into the house.
Oh yes you used to pray twice a day before, you used to give worship so sweet, it turned the stone faced man at the back to jelly, when you return, would it just be about coming to the place where you feel okay with every thing around you? The answer for me is no, I want a relationship where time apart makes me want Him more, a relationship where what matters more at all times is Him. I want a relationship where I get closer to Him between the times we meet, all the time. I want to get closer to Him daily, closer than I was before, where each time I get closer than I have ever been. A relationship where what matters most to me, isn't about getting to heaven, but about that relationship between me and Him.





Thy kingdom come Lord on earth as it is in heaven.

His Father's Child

The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life-only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord
I and my Father are one....

There would have been many kids on that playground, he wouldn't have been any different, same looks, same dressing, all playing together. One thing would have probably made him stand out. Where others would have said they wanted to be doctors, lawyers, teachers, carpenters, fishermen; he would have said something quite different. he would have said all he wanted to be was his father's child. Who wants that? I mean we all grow up, grow up to make our decisions in life. You can't just be a child forever. Yet that was the guiding principle of the boy Jesus till his death.
At 12 years of age, not many are concerned with their father's business. The few who are will be seen as not wanting to have a childhood, a time to just play around and do nothing. But he was different. That was his primary concern.

Having grown up, being a man at the moment (although some may disagree). I look at the life of a common man (namely me). And I look back at the life of a seemingly common child, and I cannot help but wonder. For most of us, we are asked what we want to be in life and we blag. We say all manner of things and roles we would like to be, which most times we have no idea about and the funny thing is that we actually believe it. I want to be an engineer(when we don't know maths), a doctor (we absolutely hate biology), e.t.c. just because it sounds cool. Oh I wanted to be an aeronautical engineer by the way. Thought working for NASA would be cool (pity my parents translated it to aviation). Leaving the long talk aside, I just wonder, how many of us want what our parents want? Its either we are imposing our will on them or they are imposing their will on us. How many of us could have walked up to our parents and said, dad/mum, I know whatever it is you want for me, I want it too. What do you think your folks reaction would be?

We know God's will for us, for those of us that do, how many actually accept it? For those that don't how many can confidently come out and say, God I don't know what you have planned for me today, but whatever it is, I am okay with it.
Maybe Jesus was too young, but then the bible says, remember your creator in the days of your youth not after you are too old to care about anything else anymore. So what does that mean? Jesus even as a human child, all through his life, till he died, was walking scripture. What mattered to him most was not what people thought about him, he was very humble and respectful to his parents, but he was bold enough to stand for God when it mattered most, even as a little child.
I and my Father are one, the Child said, one not in flesh, but one in spirit and in mind, as the Father commanded, so He did, He walked, thought and taught as His Father wanted. He is a living testimony of what can be, He is His Father's child.
Psalm 91:1-2 says

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say [b] of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

There are a lot of promises after the first two verses, but the part I love the most are the final verses.

Psalm 91:14-16

"Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

In summary, because you are your Father's child you are covered.
It starts from the days of your youth, it starts now.

I know He watches me

Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil...
Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me

It was raining a year ago and it is raining tonight... That is how great stories start. There is nothing great about this, nothing spectacular or wonderful, it is just what it is, a story. It is said what makes a great story is not the storyline, but in the way it is told. It is such a wonder that even though the lessons (not stories) of the bible are told in such bland and simple terms, they have the power to hold a person, a multitude spellbound for hours on end, not because of the story or the storyteller but because of the power behind it, because of the lessons behind each and every line. That is for another day, another time, another story.

Have you missed someone, a part of your life, missed something you used to do. Have you ever missed the person you used to be, the laughter, the joy of just living. Woken up reached for someone that just isn’t there, opened the door to a room empty now, because its occupants are all gone. If you have ever picked up your phone, to dial a contact that just isn’t there anymore, felt the heartache of a lost one, a brother, sister, mother, father or child. A best friend, a sweetheart, up all night plagued by memories of times long gone only to wake up with the realisation the so cold realisation that truly and really, those times are long gone. Three years ago, you had the world at your finger tips. Today, you are just another person, a person nobody really cares about. Three years ago you had the world at your beck and call. Today many heartbreaks, heartaches and losses after, you are just a shell of the shadow of who you were. It is a hard bitter pill to swallow, ask Job if you can, ask Jacob if you will. Hardly anyone remembers that David lost the closest and dearest to him, a friend that was closer to him than a brother, no one wonders what he did with his heartache. No one asked Jacob how he felt after he lost Rebekkah. I don’t think to ask God how he feels after I break His heart each and every time I go astray. Have you ever waited for a text or message to come? Checked your phone every couple of minutes, waiting for that message to just come in? Ever been expectant for a miracle? Think of the father waiting for his prodigal son to come home, looking in the direction his son left, every single day, till his son came home. I am a father, I know where my son is, but there are times when I get a phone call and I absolutely freak out, thinking maybe something has happened that shouldn’t have. But then even this is another story.

I have heard my pastor say a number of times that if you jump off into unknown/unsure territory, God will either catch you before you fall, or teach you how to fly. Now what if you stumble? Because I am sure all the times he has mentioned it, there have been one or more people right at the bottom. Is that the end? No He is able and just to forgive your sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness Am not just saying it because I feel like, i am saying this as a sure fact, saying this because I have seen the bottom and touched it, and God still brought me out. He is always standing at the door knocking, He is ever willing to leave the 99 locked up securely to come out and look for you, whether it is sunny, rainy or snowy. Whether you are in the middle of so much trouble that you don’t know where to turn, where to run or who to run to, He is there. I am not going to mention Joseph or Daniel, Paul, Silas or Peter, they cried out in right standing with God. I will however mention Jonah, who ran away from God, at the cost of the lives of thousands in a city. Have you ever by your action or inaction done anything that could jeopardise the lives of thousands? God heard Jonah from the belly of the fish. Surely He can hear you from the bottom of the mountain. He can send His angels to guide you so you don’t dash your feet against the stony bottom.

Have you missed someone, a part of your life, missed something you used to do. Have you ever missed the person you used to be, the laughter, the joy of just living? It’s been a while since I laughed sincerely from my heart, been a while since I sat down comfortably with someone and had a decent conversation, it has been a while since I slept at night knowing that I would wake up and just chill (aaah the joys of work). I do look back sometimes and wish that things could be different, but even then I dare not look back for long, because I have done that in the past and missed out entirely on the present. I have realised this however. I have realised that it’s not about living without a care in the world but living, knowing each and every care and burden you have is taken care of. That is living free, living without a care for where to place your head. Living knowing that even though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, He is your comforter and your guide, that is living knowing that without a doubt the one whose eyes are on the sparrow are always, ever watching you.

Live strong....

Magnify yourself

There are usually two ways in life, the way that seems right and the right way.

I sat for hours, days and weeks thinking of what to write and how to write what would be a true expression of myself. Myself and how I have felt and been for the past couple of months. There are usually two ways in life, the way that seems right and the right way. I used those two terms, because there are paths that are not options. Not because they don't seem right but because they are not options that we would consider so they simply do not count. Now the problem is the time it takes to come to the decision on which path to take. For the last three or so months, I have stayed at the crossroads for the past three months and have literally watched my life fall apart, not because of what I did, but because of what I didn't do. In those three months, things I thought not important became important and things I held dear became rather unimportant. Indecision led to less study, less worship, less prayer, less dependence on God, more thinking, more flirting with the world and more time accepting that sitting at that point, "just chilling", was the right thing to do. In "just chilling", I began to compare what I didn't have with what others had and I began to long for it, long for them, forgetting and forsaking what I have and what I had. Sitting in church yesterday, even after I had started writing this post, I realized one thing exposed even more by a scripture shared in church by the pastor. In sitting down, in comparing myself with others, in wanting what they had that I didn't, I exposed myself. In sitting in one spot, wishing rather than moving on and doing, I set standards for myself far below God's standards for my life and I literally have watched life pass me by.

2 Cor 10:12-13 says

We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. We, however, will not boast beyond proper limits, but will confine our boasting to the field God has assigned to us, a field that reaches even to you.

To cut the long story short, in wanting what others had, in wanting their lives and failing to live my own life, I left the field given to me to till.
In sitting in one position watching others in my field, my life became fallow and so full of weeds that if I were a farmer I would be called wretched by men and of no use to the world as a whole.

So what is it I am trying to say here, we have gifts we have talents, God given. We have lives we have purposes, designed not by us but by God, our specific areas where we are supposed to shine out as lights. I say to myself now what I haven't told myself before now. If I cannot make an impact in my immediate environment be it work, home or even in church, then I am of no use. Why? Because at he end of the day, the money, the cars, the houses, even the children do not give satisfaction, at the end of your life what would be important is not the material wealth, but the impact you have had on the lives around you.

I wrote up some things in the past couple of weeks, things that may be helpful to you when you are down, I pray they do touch someone out there.

Fire burns every time no matter how many times you put your hand in it... Once bitten twice shy, learn your lesson. Getting older or stronger is all in the head, the same things that made you fall initially, can still make you fall today.

Peace that passes all understanding
That peace don't mean trials and tribulations won't come, however it means that you will be able to sleep in storms, walk into lions' dens, be threatened by flames and Goliath's and not fear, not because they can or cannot harm you, but because you know of a truth that you are exactly where God your father wants you to be.



You can cry about heartbreak all day, but in so doing you are breaking your Father's heart. Stop standing still and moaning about the things around you, move forward and your environment will eventually change.


Looking back turns you to a pillar of salt, that in turn will mean that when storms come you will wash away. Look up to Jesus at all times, the author and finisher of our faith...

What you don't know can't hurt you, but then it can... Too much knowledge causes paranoia... Understanding on the other hand means no matter what, you do understand why things are... The peace He gives goes far beyond that, it makes you sleep through storms, walk through flames and sleep with lions. Goliath's are defeated with pebbles, a thousand men by a single man, whole armies by three hundred. Peace that passes all understanding but His, because He knows all.

I'm my search for peace it eluded me, I tried patience for peace, but it didn't bring understanding. I tried long suffering but it only brought me bitterness... I tried praising at all times, but it came from my lips and not my heart, it brought me no joy... I could say I turned to God, but it is a lie... God found me.

Finally people, another thing I learned, magnify your gifts, magnify your talents. If I can make myself look good physically on days when I feel like dirt inside, then surely I can learn to make up my interior.