The air I breathe, my daily bread...

Been a while since I felt this way, humble, contrite and strangely at peace. A lot has happened recently and is still happening. Found myself struggling to hold on to what I believe, my faith, my principles, to what I know is the truth. Truth be told it was getting really really difficult to get through each day whole, sane.

If you have ever been in my shoes, trying to live right, trying to love God, trying to show him how much you love him. If you have ever been in my shoes, quoting scriptures to give you strength and failing to find strength in them because you have used the same scriptures so many times before, tried to find peace by trying to undo all the wrong you have ever done? You try to follow all the commandments in the bible to the letter, doing it just to appease your moral conscience so you can feel good to congratulate yourself that you are trying. Or do your bit here and there hoping God will sort out the rest, forgive you of your sins so you can just make heaven? Now if you are still here, I aint talking to you, you can stop right here and read no further and I apologise for bringing you this far.
If you have gotten to the stage where you have tried, failed, tried again and again and failed, if you are at a point where you are weary, broken, the point where you are not sure which is right or wrong anymore, then this is for you. I plead with you to search yourself and realise this, you are a son of Adam, your flesh, your body, is carnal, the heart of man is wicked, wicked beyond any describable definition. "YOU CANNOT DO IT ON YOUR OWN". Men have failed before you, men will fail after you. You remember the Pharisees, Saducees? You remember Nicodemus? You cannot just live right by trying on your own to obey the laws of God that your heart is so desperate to disobey, you cannot fight your flesh by doing things in the flesh. You were born of Adam, but you are born again into a newness of life where old things pass away, not an old flesh becoming new flesh, but the flesh dying away totally and a spirit, The spirit of God indwelling in you. This is what kills the desires of the things of old, this indwelling spirit, that helps you to overcome all fleshly desires, not your strength or your might, not the prayers you make every night, or the scripture you read every morning, not the bible you put under your pillow each night when you sleep. Until you get to this point where you understand that nothing you ever do on your own can make you worthy, understand it fully and completely and begin to depend fully on God's spirit indwelling in you, only then can it begin to manifest in you.

This is the air I breathe, your holy presence living in me

My daily bread, your very word spoken to me.

When you can say those words and believe them, say those words and live them. Casting your cares upon the Spirit of God, resting in that Spirit at all times.

• Get to a point where all that matters to you is the Spirit of God indwelling in you
• A point where you can confidently say greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world
• A point where you know that the SPirit of God in you makes your body a temple, a living temple of God, where the Spirit of God becomes an oil to your light shining out to the world.
• A point where every nature related to the flesh dies a natural death.
• A point where the spirit and soul can speak via the body and say "Thy will be done on earth in my life as it is in heaven, Give me this day my daily bread" The bread I need to make it through the day, your Spirit indwelling in me Lord, because without it, I am nothing.

Bless a life today, live the life God wants you to live.
You are not alone, never, ever

If my people...

So am seating here with nothing on my mind but thoughts, many thoughts. And I can't help but wonder, as a christian how am I helping my generation, am I shining out as a light, representing as an ambassador, or am I living like everybody else(living for myself)?
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In life everyday, we see people come and go, in life we get hurt so many times in so many different ways, and human nature is such that we keep everything stored deep within, nursing the hurt, nursing the pain. Others let it out in different ways, anger, tears, sorrow, weeping, you know the drill, we are human I know, and we all get to do the pain thing every now and then, but the greatest example I have seen of faith and strength was shown me by my mother (God bless her soul), an she showed me how a true believer should act in times of trouble in times of pain. By prayer, with love, faith and hope.

2 Chronicles 7:14 was at a new era, a new beginning for the children of Israel, a house, a temple was being built for God on earth, and God made a promise to them. "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land".

A breakdown of this verse to me
1. If my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face: Before now I never bothered to think of what that means till today. Humble means submissive respect and it is the way they were supposed to come to God, a way to show that they really needed Him, in summary humbling themselves and praying meaning acknowledging that it was God first and showing it by the way they approached His presence.
2. Turn from their wicked ways: I wonder why the word wicked was used, and the word from Jer 17:9 came to mind. Our hearts as humans are naturally desperately wicked, it i sour very nature, the only way we can change it is by doing number 1.
3. then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land: A land that could be besieged by drought, famine and disease. In plain english, no water, food and lots of disease. Now note was this verse says, I will heal their sin FIRST and then heal their land.

Am writing this not to judge or point fingers but to open your hearts to ask questions of yourself. This was said at a point where a temple was being built for the first time in Israel. Not a tent anymore but a whole house, not moving a constant place where the Israelites could seek God's face. Today, we all are temples of God, no need to travel anywhere to seek God's face anytime and anywhere we can go to Him for help. Our land may not be hit by famine, disease or drought not in the terms of those days. But we have people thirsting for love, thirsting for fellowship a place they can belong, we have people lost, falling into snares the world society, has set out for them.

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land"
It starts with you, your total repentance, your pursuit of His presence. He will forgive your sins, and through you, He will heal your land.

To end it on this note, I leave you with some verses written by the wisest man ever.
Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths".

When He directs your path, you can never go wrong, humble yourselves and seek His face.

With Love...
Touch a life today, and live the life God wants you to live.

Your choice: Your future

Having made the choice to serve, the choice to follow, having made your choice of fellowship, there is only one other thing to talk about and that is your future.
Truth be told even after making all this choices, life is still hard, daily we encounter difficult circumstances, a lot of times we come across different situations and most times we do what human beings do best, We simply freak out. If you have ever gone through a rough patch in life, ever wondered why bad things happen to you at times when you dont believe you deserve it? (By bad things I am not talking about headaches, or cold, I am talking about losing loved ones, losing a job you worked so hard at getting, losing a relationship, things that don't physically hurt, but hurt emotionally, things that hurt your pride, hurt your spirit, make you question yourself, your stand in life, your beliefs) Then you know what I am talking about.
Everytime it happens I find myself raging, angry, wanting to know why, Why did this happen?, what is the reason for this? And in asking this questions most times I have said things I should not have said, done things I should not have done and a lot of times I have found myself worse of than when I first started. Yes, everything I have reacted based on my emotions I have been completely wrong. With all that has happened to me in the past month, I have done everything, from tears, to anger, I have exhibited almost all the emotional qualities known to man, and each time I found myself drawn further and further away from God and I have pushed away almost all the people who care about me. Why? Because even when I knew it was wrong I still wanted to feel that way. Psychiatrists, therapists usually prescribe drugs or remedies for us when we are in such situations. As for me, I have a song (pinched from youtube, but it has worked every single time I used it).

Heart of Worship by Matt Redman: Simply put it is a heart that we should have in times of trouble. Not only does it soothe me, it reminds me of who created me, who I serve and ultimately who is in charge.

A trick? No, because you can't bless God's heart sulking, angry or cursing, you can't bless his heart by complaining about how unjust the world is, you can only bless His heart with yours in worship.

Your choice your future, the way you react to the things around you, peace at heart, peace in the mind, does not come by active seeking, it comes by the way you react to things around you, a guide? Think of the fruits of the spirit love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance you dont live right by selecting just a few of these, it is a package. Need i describe what they do? No they speak very much for themselves. It isnt easy but I don't think there is anywhere in the bible where it is said that it is.
I am not trying to say that you will never get angry or sad, not trying to say that you will never cry, or be hurt. I am trying to say this though that when those times come focus on the one that promised never to leave or forsake you. Focus on the one that said that He is (not will be) with you always even to the end of the world. You can go wrong yes, but you cant stay wrong with that knowledge in your heart. In these recent weeks also I have thought of John 3:16 so many times and recently remebered Romans 8. God so loved the world, so loved you and so loved me that He gave his only begotten Son and nothing, nothing at all can seperate us from that love. Your choice your future to stay with the knowledge of that love, to live under the umbrella of that love, to hold on to the warmth of that love. To stand and above all still stand in the face of adversities, in the face of strife, in the face of pain and still stand. I am not talking of weapons of warfare with the devil here, because most times we are so geared up to face those troubles, so geared up that we fail to remember that although we are sons of God we are human, like He was when He walked the earth, He felt pain, He cried, He was hurt. Not because of the devil, the devil never prevailed against Him, never ever, not once. At all times, in all situations He always looked up to the father, His choice, my choice, your choice, our future. I have learnt the hard way, oh so hard, to look up to Him, when all is stripped away, when I have everything but also when there is nothing else to look up to. He is the air I breathe. His love, His peace, His promise, I have been quick to jump to conclusions, quick to point a finger, quick to do all but accept the truth, that I am all but human, and only God can lead me through. My choice, my future is in His hands, His alone. It has been a long time coming, a hard time coming, I have pushed all away friends loved ones because of my selfish desires but the God pulled me into Him, I fought but He won, like He won on the cross so long ago, my pains, my sorrows, my hurt, my emotions, He took on His shoulders, beaten for my iniquities, crucified for my worldly desires, what other choice do I have but him, what other hope? He is the air I breathe, He is the song I sing, He is the life I want to live, the path I want to walk.

Another song I love, a song I listen to every night before I sleep, a song that reminds me of who I am and what I should be. A song for you...

To all I hurt, to all I have pushed away in times past, an apology would be far from adequate, God's love however covers all, and my heart goeas out to you, my prayers do as well. I thank you for all you have been to me,all that you still are to me. I love you all.

And may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God and the ever sweet fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with you;

• With you when you show love, love to your brother, your neighbour, even as much as you love yourself (1 Cor 13:4-8). Your choice, your future.
  
• With you when nothing seems to be going right, when your life is shattered, when you hurt so much that it seems like you can;t go on when all that is happening and you are still patient on his word, patient on his promises, patient even when everything still goes wrong, holding on, never straying, holding on always keeping your mind on the cross and the reason for it. Your choice, your future.

The last part of the grace says now and forever more. Not for five minutes, not here today and gone tomorrow, not helping yesterday and today and on a break for the next couple of weeks, it starts now, the moment you say and believe it, the moment you say it and hold on to it, from that moment, forever more.
His love, HIs promise, my hope my future, your choice, your future. I have learnt through no easy ways, I have learnt with my mistakes oh so many mistakes I have made. There is only one way; Easy it isn't but worth it? Totally. My choice my future. I am holding on to it.