The first Chapter: Love

Love is a word that is always used but hardly understood. A word used to describe both physical and emotional feelings. No matter the context it is used in, there is always a deep sentimental feeling of attachment attached to it. Love has been defined so many times in so many ways by countless people. Books have been written about it. But I am not talking about the process of love, not talking about the chemistry, the physicality or whatever name u can give to it. I am talking about the feeling. I will paint several pictures here and I'll leave u to make out your own meaning.

• A king betrayed by his son. His kingdom was taken, his wives raped out in the sun, his house was taken his life was sought. A king still loving, crying out for his son, even till his son's death (2Samuel 18:33)
• A man made to work seven years for a wife, cheated, lied to and made to work for seven more years(Genesis 29:20-29)
• One man defiant of the laws of a country, still holding unto God in the face of death (Daniel 6:10)
• Three men refusing in the face of death to look at any other face but that of their God (Daniel 3:17,18)
• An outcast taking care of a wounded man on the wayside even where his people didn't (Luke 10:25-37)
• A Father, watching his innocent Son die on the cross, crucified by the very people he came to save(Matthew 27:46)
  

There are so many examples of love. Real love, people holding on even when all seems to be going wrong and all this is human. Imagine the amount of love God has for you.ometies we may feel that we don't deserve it and in all reality we don't. But that is where love comes in.And the kind of love am talking about is this:

• Using a cheat, a liar, a trickster to build the foundation for his people. Am talking about Jacob. He was turned into a champion(Genesis 32: 28)
• Using a murderer, a deserter, a man who lost the will to speak in public. Am talking about Moses. From a sheep herder to the leader of the greatest exodus in history(Exodus 3 & 4)
• Because she saved a nation, she was included in the lineage of the son of God. Am talking about Rahab, a prostitute. (Matthew 1:5)
• Betrayed Jesus not once but thrice, came out as the first leader of the church. Am talking about Peter.
• A rainbow, a promise of love that God will not destroy the world in his anger again.
• A promise of love, his Son sent to die for us (John 3:16)
  

Again there are so many examples of God's love towards us. Sometimes I dare to think that it is not possible, but then I think of the countless examples in the bible and I dare to believe, I dare to hope that his love is unfailing, ever strong, ever sure.
In a movie "The Mexican", a question was posed that touched me. 'If you truly love someone, when do you get to that point where you give up on that person', and the answer was simple. "Never".
In life it is said people fall in and out of love, but in truth if u do love someone, no matter how it hurts, u never give up on them.
There's one place where that love is real, where that love is undeserved but is still given, there is one person who WILL NOT give up on you. It is all tied together, to have faith, to believe you must first have love(Matthew 22:37-40)

There is no love without sacrifice, no love without pain.
Without love there is neither faith or hope.
Love overlooks all faults, embraces all mistakes, accepts and changes.
I could go on and on but then i'll end with this. No matter where you are at the moment, what you have done in the past, what you may be planning in the future. Right now at this moment, God loves you and is ready, ever ready to accept you. Just give him your all, love with your heart soul and strength. Take the first step.

The Genesis

Recently I saw a picture in my mind. A picture of a child his father and a jigsaw puzzle. The child trying to fix d jigsaw puzzle on his own, trying and failing so many times and getting bitterly frustrated, trying because he so much wanted to do it on his own, wanted to be able to bask in pride knowing he had done it on his own, failing because he thought he could put the pieces together simply by matching the edges, failing because he refused to look at the picture held in his father's hand.
A lot of times I have done really silly things, things I have regretted even as I was doing them, a lot of times I have wanted to change and someway, somehow I have fallen back. Lust of the eye, lust of the flesh, pride of life; alcohol, tobacco, drugs, sex, lying, cheating, stealing, u name it. Things I have known were wrong, things I always wanted stopped but never had the courage to. I tried so many things to correct my wrongs, one after the other they failed and each failure brought about a feeling of anger, a feeling of sorrow, and a deep so deep feeling of loss. If u have been there and I know you have then u know what I am talking about. With all my failures, my inability to succeed, by succeed i don't mean in education, at work or even financially, i mean personal failure with your relationship with God because you can be rich in life and poor at heart. U can be rich in heart and poor in spirit. In this life I have never seen anyone rich in spirit and poor in heart at the same time.
What am I trying to say here, with everything that has happened there is only one way we can succeed where others have failed (including us) that child can only complete that jigsaw puzzle by communicating with his father. By communication he will have a glimpse of the picture his father sees, by communication with his father he would know(not have an idea) of what piece to put next. By communication with his father, he will know his fathers voice feel when he is going wrong and correct himself.
In the same way only by focusing on what is important can we communicate with our father. How do we communicate by constant prayer, how do we know His voice, how do we identify His plans and purposes for us, by reading His word.
How do we focus on Him? By focusing on three elements; faith, love and constant communication.
Having tried everything else but this and failed, I don't have to be as wise as Solomon or as old as Methuselah to know that there is only one way to life and I am holding on to it.

As I lay down at night to sleep, these words kept ringing in my brain, "love is pain". Words probably inspired by events going on around me. It made me start to wonder and ponder on the greatest display of love ever to grace this planet. And i remembered a verse recited so many times, recited by many but thought about by a few John 3:16.

For God so loved the world: Without discrimination, God loved the world, not the Israelites, not a group of people but the world. The murderers, liars, thieves, name it, as long as u are in this world, God loves you. There are people who may say they are not in the category of people labeled as sinners, but the truth is if we were to pass through the fine comb of a perfect life we would all fall short of the pass mark. God still loves us. I thought of the number of times Jesus said we were to forgive our brother if he sins against us (490 times) and i wonder if we were to forgive someone close to us, our heart 490 times how much more strangers who have no reason to do right by us.
SO many times we have been hurt, things have come up, fights, letdowns, heartbreaks by friends and family and we get so angry we give up on them and I begin to wonder have we passed through anything like what Jesus passed through? Thinking about it over and over again, I don't think so. Let me give u some scenarios.
A friend, a close friend someone who has ate, slept, suffered with you, someone who knows the kind of person you are, a wonderful person betraying you to be killed for money. Judas betrayed Jesus. His life for 30 pieces of silver. Compare that with similar situations in your life (friends gossiping about you, wife leaving u, kids turning against you, name it and think of that feeling) remember this though, Jesus had flesh like us and he knew that he would be betrayed. did that change a thing? No it didn't.
Your best friend looking you in the face when you are in a tough spot, a life or death situation and denying you not behind u but in your face. If it were you what would you do? it didnt change a thing.
Add to that the same set of people you fed from nothing, who saw you heal people, cast out demons, raise the dead and call u king a week earlier now shouting that you should be killed, the people you love with all your heart, saying they don't want you. What more could u ask for? Sometimes in life, I have been disappointed by things happening around me and felt let down by people: friends, relations and family. I realized one thing: It begins to get to you only when u lose d faith you have in them, it chips and eats away at your love and it wears u out.

God gave his only son: he gave his only son for the most ungrateful set of beings in the universe. You would think Sodom and Gomorrah would have learned from Noah, you would think that the Israelites over the years would have learned from their fathers, you would think we walking the earth now would have learned from history but no we keep doing the same things over and over again. Anyone would have given up on us. The time of the flood signifies that it nearly happened once. But no. We have always been given a chance by God. How many times have we given the people around us a chance? How many times have we used the words never again? How many times have we given up what we love the most for people that have hurt us over and over again?

Whoever believes in him will have life: This is the most important part of the whole verse, because it signifies a lot, it was given freely. And even though it was given freely, with so much love and sacrifice, it wasn't forced on us, it is our choice to make. Do u want it or not. DO u need it or not. I believe we all do but that is my belief.

Thinking about it all I asked myself if i have any right to give up on anyone or anything at all and the answer was no। Truth is nothing good ever comes easy, ever ever ever. So the best thing of all although free shouldn't be as well.

Down but not out, nearly giving up but still holding on...

A girl disturbed, emotional troubles,
A boy disturbed, sexual emotions,
A student disturbed, problems in school,
A man disturbed, with drug problems,
They are fighting, trying to stop the feeling,
They are tired want to let go
Girl by running,
Boy by sleeping around,
Student by quitting,
Man by needing one more fix,
They are thinking, these thoughts, these emotions, won't they stop? Hold on...
They are thinking, I can't possibly hold on anymore. Don't give up
The thoughts come not from outside but from inside,
Fighting them would be like fighting yourself,
Giving in to them would be like freedom, but freedom from what?
For the body but not the heart,
For the mind but not the spirit. Hold on, don't give up.
You may be down but it definitely isn't the end.
Hold on on don't give up, because doing so, letting go, giving in...
You lose in the long run.
You don't have to handle it on your own.
It's best you don't handle it on your own
Fighting yourself when you know all your weakspots?
Its like running towards a sniper with no weapons,
And surrendering, giving in to those desires, to those thoughts, becoming prisoner to them?
Is giving in to what you are fighting against in the first place.

Examples are many in the world today and in the past. There are times when we want to do things, things we know we shouldn't be doing but things we still want to do, and most times we ask the question "Why do I have these thoughts?" and that question is what disturbs us more than anything else. Guess what? It is our human nature to want to be bad, from birth till death, it is in our blood. If anyone tells u otherwise, that person must be kryptonian because the desire to do evil is dug in so deep that it is almost never rooted out. Now knowing all this what do we do? We hold on, and the truth is this, it is when we are at our weakest that we know our strengths, it is when we try to show our strengths that most times we show our weakness. Leads me to the words of the song "he that is down need fear no fall".

There have been men, women, people all over the world who have felt weak, felt down, felt troubled and wanted to give up probably even you reading this at the moment, going down and nearly giving up. There is something someone you can probably hold on to and it seems like those handholds and footholds are not there and it seems like we reaching out but still sinking.
There's one person we can hold on to,, one person we can learn from;
One man, who changed the world, touched the life of so many people and when things changed, when he was persecuted for things he did not do, when everyone had abandoned him, when it seemed like there was no hope he did not give up, he had joy, joy that came from an inner peace, an inner peace that came from a firm foundation. That man died for you, for me, sent to do a job no one asked him to, he died that you could live and in so doing paid the price, a one off price for you, for me that we could have something to hold on to.
A hand reaching out to us to pull us up when we are down, someone to call out to when it seems there is no hope left.
Are u down?, nearly giving up?, trying to hold on but still drowning, falling or sinking? Look no further there is a hand waiting to pull you up, someone waiting to hear your cry for help. You are not the first and most definitely won't be d last. Reach out and hold the hand, reach out, cry out and hold on, that is the most important thing of all. Hold on, you are not alone.

He that is down need fear no fall
He that is low no pride,
He that is humble ever shall
Have God to be his guide.

Living a life or Living the life...

A lot of people pass through life, without achieving anything meaningful, more like zombies or robots than anything else, basically doing what they need to survive, they pass through life without achieving half or even a quarter of what they could achieve in this life. Sometimes it is because they are not sure of what it is, sometimes they don't know how to go about it, sometimes they haven't even thought about it. Taking a look at myself I asked the question what makes me different from the Isaac Newtons, William Bells, Wright brothers, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfreys, people that started from nothing but became somebody just by what they did. Also thought of people in the bible Noah, Abraham, Moses, Joshua, David, Daniel, Esther, there are a lot of them and their names were specifically mentioned because of something they did. We also have the Hitlers, Idi Amins, Abachas, people that are known and remembered not for good things but still remembered nonetheless. And i asked am I less human than the are? Or are they more human than I am? The truth is no they aren't. So what makes them different from me, from the rest of us. And in all the stories am sure it started out as a dream. A dream which became a definition of purpose, from a definition of purpose to a belief in that purpose, and that unshakable belief in that purpose brought about a determination to achieve by whatever means necessary, and achieve they did.
We all have dreams some have big dreams some have little ones but we all have dreams anyway. Some people don't take the dreams serious, some do but don't hold on to the dreams, some do but lose focus and still others hold on to it and never let it go and go on ahead to achieve great things. It is what we do with our dreams that define us, that determine who we are, whether we will be 1 in a billion, 1 in a million, 1 in a thousand, 1 in a hundred or unique.

I have a dream,
I have a purpose,
and I have a strong belief in that purpose.
I am determined I am strong willed,
I have my eyes set on my goal.
I will achieve it,
I will do great things in my life.
I will touch the lives of people around me.
No matter how long it takes or how hard it seems,
I have my goal, my purpose, my mission
and I will achieve it.

Feeling broken, tired,...

How I feel?:
I feel tired, sick of my life, tired of going through the same processes over and over again, sick of being at this point where I have to kneel and ask for forgiveness once again, sometimes it seems inevitable because the more I struggle against sin, the harder i seem to fall right back into it and it sickens me.
I feel lonely, all alone in this fight against sin, don't have anyone to share my fears with, because it seems most times they wont understand, feels like they are too busy to listen, most times I am scared of reaching out because I am scared of rejection, other times because I cant put into words how I feel, the thoughts that keep plaguing me over and over again. It feels so hard this path I decided to take sometimes I feel it would be so better off remaining in sin doing all the things I so much want to do.
At this point I ask myself how can anyone love me, when I can't even look myself in the face, ask myself how can God want me back when I have been through the same things so many times before, its tearing at me, eating at me, these emotions, I shed tears, I weep because I cant seem to feel his presence anymore...

Truth be told even though I resent myself, God still loves me, he still loves you, no matter what he is ready, he is reaching out his hands calling out to you, or you have to do, all we have to do, because I am as guilty as everyone else, is call out to him, kneel down one more time and ask for his forgiveness... Nothing can separate me from God's love, nothing can restrict me from the fact that the blood of Jesus Christ was shed for people like me, the promise is ours if only we choose to accept it. It is a race a continuous race to the end. I will get there, so will you.

Romans 8.

Why does God love us?

I wondered after some experiences I had about the above question and I wonder how many people have asked themselves this... Why does God still love us?

As human beings at least once or more times we must have done some considerably bad things... I have, and am sure a lot of people out there have too. I wondered if God sees us as little children as in lets us explore within a set boundary but stops us or at least warns us when we begin to stray beyond those boundaries via our conscience and all something like a perimeter alarm beeping when we leave those boundaries and the alarm gets fainter and fainter as we go further and further away from those boundaries. Usually when we are "exploring" we keep telling ourselves that we know what we are doing and we have everything under control and really that is usually the case at the beginning but it almost always ends up as something else. So the thing is this, we have been at this junction quite a number of times, telling ourselves we know what we are doing and ending up elsewhere and I ask at this point why we don't apply the same principle for all areas of our lives.

There are so many examples, am quite sure that as you read the ones i put in here you will be able to think up some more, I'll just name a few examples from the bible, examples that most of us may be familiar with and some of us may not...

- Abraham: agreed with his wife to have a child since they felt that God was wasting too much time in fulfilling his promise. Slept with his wife's servant Hagai and had a son Ishmael. The war between Ishmael and Isaac is still going on today in the form of their children in the Middle East.

- The Israelites: Almost every generation rebelled against God but each and every time God gave them a chance to come back to him, repeatedly warned them and was always ready to forgive them when they repented...

- Balaam: God expressly told him not to curse the people of Israel but he still went along and it took a donkey(an animal thought to be really stupid even now) to save his life(I don't know if anyone else sees the irony in that). Numbers 22.

- Jonah: Tried to run away from God's work ended up in a storm first and then in a fish's belly... Spent three days in there and lived to tell the tale... Actually took 3 days of sober reflection and prayer before God brought him out of the fish's belly. The book of Jonah.

- David: Coveted his general's wife, slept with her, killed his general then married his wife, and probably wouldn't have thought much of it if God hadn't warned him and punished him. Guess what? The woman gave birth to David's heir and also was an ancestor of Joseph the earthly father of Jesus.

I don't know if any of us can relate to one or more things that I have written or maybe have more to add that others can relate to but we can all realize one thing, that people who disobeyed God in one way or the other paid for it. I have one more example that a lot of people probably have never thought of in this way...

There are a probably a lot of things each and every one of us wouldn't do over and over again, and there are other things we just conveniently forget to do...

-Shopping sometimes for things we don't really need, closing our eyes to the people out there suffering everyday against helping people in need...

-Forgetting to talk to God everyday but never forgetting to go to him when we need something or are in trouble.

-Wanting to do God's work our way and also wanting God to fulfill our requests our way.

-Getting mad at God when he doesn't do the things we want when we want them and always running to him to conveniently ask for forgiveness when we don't do the things He wants us to do.

There are so many examples here also, just put in the ones that I could really remember at the moment.

No one is perfect i know but make an attempt to look at the picture, God has given you so much in your daily lives all he is asking is for you to come to him so he can give you so much more. He has always given us another chance.

why have beliefs changed?

Have u ever wondered why there are so many problems in the world centered around faith? Where we stand in our general beliefs, it has broken so many churches, formed a lot of others, created so many factions in different churches and even created new beliefs. Have you ever wondered why a long time ago all that mattered was your name and where you were from and right now so many other things come into play especially religion. Once upon a time you could tell a lot from another person by their dressing, their speech, and basically where they were from now it is virtually impossible. Have you ever wondered why all the vices practiced in the old days, vices like drinking, smoking, drugs, sex and a lot others haven't changed? But people keep finding whole new ways to worship God, whole new meanings to the bible some even twist the Christian faith to suit themselves and I ask myself why? Smoking and drugs may have been refined but its still done the same way, drinking is most definitely done in the same way, the world still refers to kamasutra, gay people are still gay so why are we changing things read in the bible, why are we changing the way we treat God, God hasn't changed, He is still the same God of yesterday, he will be the same God tomorrow

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