Lift up your eyes to the hills...

I woke up this morning for the first time in a really long time, not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to face the day, having a dejavu -ish feeling(a feeling that I had been in this situation so many times before). I woke up this morning feeling alone, I was searching for answers that I knew I did not need but still wanted anyway. For the first time I asked God if it was worth it, if all the sacrifice was worth it, the pain, the trouble, the position I was in, for the first time I was tired of trying, tired of hoping tired of having faith, for the first time I was saying "Lord if this is your will then I don't want it anymore". Thoughts kept on running through my mind about how I could deal with my situation (the focus here is on I) until I remembered a scripture that had been in my mind for some time now, something I was actually going to talk about but realised I had best first apply it to my life.
I on't know if you have ever had the same feelings run through your mind, ever felt the same way, ever asked God when it wuld be your turn.Read Psalm 121, meditate on it, let each word run through your mind and minister to you, soothe your mind.

I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,

the Maker of heaven and earth.

Are you sad, are you down, are you in a fix, have u been trying and failing for some time now, looks like there is no way out of where you are? Seems like you are running around in circles doing the same old things over and over again? Lift up your eyes to the hills, lift up your eyes to the one who sees, the one who knows, I thought about that sentence ran it through my mind and this came to me, He is on the hill, watching you. He sees the whole picture, He knows where you are right now, He knows how the journey should(not would) end and He is ever willing to show you the way. Just Lift up your eyes to Him and Him alone, all other sources WILL fail you . If not right away then sometime soon. Your help comes from the Lord who made the heavens and the earth, nothing is too small for him, he spoke and mountains were formed, no matter how big your situation is, no matter how impossible it seems, just trust Him look to him and the result is this:

He will not let your foot slip—

he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—

the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon by night.

When trouble comes, it is so easy to go back to the things we are used to, they are like drugs to shut pain out, drugs we use to lie to ourselves that everything is ok and most times if not all the time, we eventually get back to the same position we started from even more frustrated. There is a promise attached to our lifting our eyes to him, God is ever watching and I mean ever watching as long as you are willing to give him the chance to. And this is the best part of this chapter to me He is my shade by my right hand, The sun will not smite me by day nor the moon by night. I have quoted this scripture so many times as a kid and I have never thought of the meaning and it hit me like a trailer; there is one thing we can't do anything about, whether you are rich or poor the sun and the moon touch us all alike in the exact same way, now God is promising us this, the sun will not smite you by day nor the moon by night, in the world today we can point at situations that affect us all alike, I won't mention any but am sure individually we all can point at more than two situations. That it is happening around you don't mean that it will affect you.

The sun will not smite you by day or the moon by night, Just lift up your eyes to the hills.

And finally the promise...

The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore.

It is now and forever more, not just for your present situation but in all situations, he will watch over your life, your going out and coming in, yesterday, today, tomorrow, now and forevermore.

A lot of times we have problems we are scared to share,scared to relate with people not because we don't want to, but simply because they don't understand, and most times your fears are not understood simply because no one else sees them the way you do (if that makes sense). If you are feeling alone because of this, just lift your eyes to Him, He understands, He feels your pain, He is ever there for you.

In my life I have only ever wanted two things, God's peace on my life and a companion. The two things he God gave man before he fell. I had a companion ( had I say) that I lost due to my trying to do things my way (this is the feeling I had this morning) and though people may wonder why it makes me feel the way I do I ask this, you have just two things you desire in this life and one is lost, how would you feel? Yes there are a lot of people out there but all I need is one, just one. This is not about me but then...
Feeling the way I did this morning going down on my knees to ask God why, to ask God how, to ask God for help for guidance, that is human nature but then, if God won't let the sun smite me by day or the moon by night, then most definitly ordinary will not do when I go down on my knees. He sent his SOn down to die for me, to redeem me, to redeem you. I went down on my knees today, right now as I am writing this, I remember Paul and Silas in jail when they sang, I remember Daniel praying to God as he always did even in the face of death, I remember Lionel Pietersen having days to live still yet going about ministering to people. Who am I, to let my problems, my desires to come between me and my God, he does not sleep or slumber, he is there to preserve my life and watch my going out and coming in, today and forevermore, till I meet him again, I fell on my knees and cried out to God,





Here am I Lord,
Here to worship,
here to serve.
Just use me.