Thoughts

The hardest thing for a man to do is stand up when he feels at his weakest, to stand up and represent what he believes. To stand up up for one greater than he is, to represent God as He is, in honesty and in truth. Physician heal yourself people say and truth be told the hardest medicine to take sometimes is this one dished out by you. In the past couple of days I have been scared, worried, sad angry, a mixture of emotions, emotions that if told to me by others I would have answers to, been able to give comfort and give a shoulder of support. I have prayed for strength and peace to face what lies ahead. And I got a picture in my head but still, still I am hesitant, still I struggle with feelings that really I should not hold unto. So I am up this morning and I opened my bible to seek and hear God, and seek his peace; and the passage I opened up this morning was 1 Kings 19. The beginning of the last acts of Elijah before God took him.

Elijah was scared for his life, but then what touches me is what he did in his fear. He ran off to spend time with God not for strength or for peace but because he was tired of everything and he prayed to God to take his life and he actually lay down in acceptance of it (v 3-5). Now God answered Elijah immediately, sent ELijah an angel with food and a message. Elijah took the food and lay back down still in acceptance of the fate he had requested of God (ask and it shall be given to you right?). The angel had to come back a second time with more food and a specific message before Elijah got up from the point he was at to move to where God wanted him to be. Now in life there is God's way, and there is everything else. There is God's reason and there is every other reason on earth.
I found out on friday that I was to leave the UK and go back home, and to be truthful and honest I accepted it not because I wanted to but because it was an answer to a prayer I had been making for a while. And that prayer involves my life in all areas, unlike ELijah however I didnt pray for God to take my life, I prayed for strength and peace within to do all that He required of me through this period but then after I got an answer(immediately I must add), I lay back down still waiting and then all the feelings I mentioned initially came swarming around me. Friday night, saturday night and then tonight (or this morning). I don't know if anyone is going through the same or has gone through the same recently. Job? School? Family? Anything at all. Have you taken it to God in sincere prayer? Perhaps He has answered you, perhaps not, perhaps He has and you are still there praying that your will and not His be done in your life. Perhaps He has told you what to do next, the next step to take and you are waiting for the next three steps before you take the first one. I have done a lot in the last few days, spoken out my feelings, all I felt at that time, my fears and worries, some of my doubts to people, even after I had spoken to God and I look back now and I want to laugh and hide my face in shame. But then that is by the way. I will just share what I saw after my prayer with you, the response I got with my time out.

God is an artist, He painted the picture of your life, long before you were born and He called it perfect. The picture of your life as He sees it.
There are the bright spots on the picture, they represent the happiness, joy, good times, blessings, the times you give him pride and joy.
There are the dark spots, your pain, your tears, the times of doubt and fear, the times when you should depend on the Painter's paintbrush to guide you through it all.
Then there are the smudges, where you try to do the painter's job for Him, oh yes He put that into account because no matter how hard you smudge the painting you still have the chance to come back to the painter to set it right.

Now because we cannot see the pictures we go through all the spots one at a time. Don't fret, don't worry. God has looked at the whole picture and called it perfect. he is ever there; willing and ready to guide you through it all.
I have made many smudges like I probably have done this weekend, like Elijah probably did laying down there under a broom tree, but right after then was the brightest part of his picture.
Have you taken time out to pray? What is God saying to you? Please don't wait for the donkey to speak before doing what has to be done(private joke).