The air I breathe, my daily bread...

Been a while since I felt this way, humble, contrite and strangely at peace. A lot has happened recently and is still happening. Found myself struggling to hold on to what I believe, my faith, my principles, to what I know is the truth. Truth be told it was getting really really difficult to get through each day whole, sane.

If you have ever been in my shoes, trying to live right, trying to love God, trying to show him how much you love him. If you have ever been in my shoes, quoting scriptures to give you strength and failing to find strength in them because you have used the same scriptures so many times before, tried to find peace by trying to undo all the wrong you have ever done? You try to follow all the commandments in the bible to the letter, doing it just to appease your moral conscience so you can feel good to congratulate yourself that you are trying. Or do your bit here and there hoping God will sort out the rest, forgive you of your sins so you can just make heaven? Now if you are still here, I aint talking to you, you can stop right here and read no further and I apologise for bringing you this far.
If you have gotten to the stage where you have tried, failed, tried again and again and failed, if you are at a point where you are weary, broken, the point where you are not sure which is right or wrong anymore, then this is for you. I plead with you to search yourself and realise this, you are a son of Adam, your flesh, your body, is carnal, the heart of man is wicked, wicked beyond any describable definition. "YOU CANNOT DO IT ON YOUR OWN". Men have failed before you, men will fail after you. You remember the Pharisees, Saducees? You remember Nicodemus? You cannot just live right by trying on your own to obey the laws of God that your heart is so desperate to disobey, you cannot fight your flesh by doing things in the flesh. You were born of Adam, but you are born again into a newness of life where old things pass away, not an old flesh becoming new flesh, but the flesh dying away totally and a spirit, The spirit of God indwelling in you. This is what kills the desires of the things of old, this indwelling spirit, that helps you to overcome all fleshly desires, not your strength or your might, not the prayers you make every night, or the scripture you read every morning, not the bible you put under your pillow each night when you sleep. Until you get to this point where you understand that nothing you ever do on your own can make you worthy, understand it fully and completely and begin to depend fully on God's spirit indwelling in you, only then can it begin to manifest in you.

This is the air I breathe, your holy presence living in me

My daily bread, your very word spoken to me.

When you can say those words and believe them, say those words and live them. Casting your cares upon the Spirit of God, resting in that Spirit at all times.

• Get to a point where all that matters to you is the Spirit of God indwelling in you
• A point where you can confidently say greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world
• A point where you know that the SPirit of God in you makes your body a temple, a living temple of God, where the Spirit of God becomes an oil to your light shining out to the world.
• A point where every nature related to the flesh dies a natural death.
• A point where the spirit and soul can speak via the body and say "Thy will be done on earth in my life as it is in heaven, Give me this day my daily bread" The bread I need to make it through the day, your Spirit indwelling in me Lord, because without it, I am nothing.

Bless a life today, live the life God wants you to live.
You are not alone, never, ever

If my people...

So am seating here with nothing on my mind but thoughts, many thoughts. And I can't help but wonder, as a christian how am I helping my generation, am I shining out as a light, representing as an ambassador, or am I living like everybody else(living for myself)?
.
In life everyday, we see people come and go, in life we get hurt so many times in so many different ways, and human nature is such that we keep everything stored deep within, nursing the hurt, nursing the pain. Others let it out in different ways, anger, tears, sorrow, weeping, you know the drill, we are human I know, and we all get to do the pain thing every now and then, but the greatest example I have seen of faith and strength was shown me by my mother (God bless her soul), an she showed me how a true believer should act in times of trouble in times of pain. By prayer, with love, faith and hope.

2 Chronicles 7:14 was at a new era, a new beginning for the children of Israel, a house, a temple was being built for God on earth, and God made a promise to them. "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land".

A breakdown of this verse to me
1. If my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face: Before now I never bothered to think of what that means till today. Humble means submissive respect and it is the way they were supposed to come to God, a way to show that they really needed Him, in summary humbling themselves and praying meaning acknowledging that it was God first and showing it by the way they approached His presence.
2. Turn from their wicked ways: I wonder why the word wicked was used, and the word from Jer 17:9 came to mind. Our hearts as humans are naturally desperately wicked, it i sour very nature, the only way we can change it is by doing number 1.
3. then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land: A land that could be besieged by drought, famine and disease. In plain english, no water, food and lots of disease. Now note was this verse says, I will heal their sin FIRST and then heal their land.

Am writing this not to judge or point fingers but to open your hearts to ask questions of yourself. This was said at a point where a temple was being built for the first time in Israel. Not a tent anymore but a whole house, not moving a constant place where the Israelites could seek God's face. Today, we all are temples of God, no need to travel anywhere to seek God's face anytime and anywhere we can go to Him for help. Our land may not be hit by famine, disease or drought not in the terms of those days. But we have people thirsting for love, thirsting for fellowship a place they can belong, we have people lost, falling into snares the world society, has set out for them.

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land"
It starts with you, your total repentance, your pursuit of His presence. He will forgive your sins, and through you, He will heal your land.

To end it on this note, I leave you with some verses written by the wisest man ever.
Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths".

When He directs your path, you can never go wrong, humble yourselves and seek His face.

With Love...
Touch a life today, and live the life God wants you to live.

Your choice: Your future

Having made the choice to serve, the choice to follow, having made your choice of fellowship, there is only one other thing to talk about and that is your future.
Truth be told even after making all this choices, life is still hard, daily we encounter difficult circumstances, a lot of times we come across different situations and most times we do what human beings do best, We simply freak out. If you have ever gone through a rough patch in life, ever wondered why bad things happen to you at times when you dont believe you deserve it? (By bad things I am not talking about headaches, or cold, I am talking about losing loved ones, losing a job you worked so hard at getting, losing a relationship, things that don't physically hurt, but hurt emotionally, things that hurt your pride, hurt your spirit, make you question yourself, your stand in life, your beliefs) Then you know what I am talking about.
Everytime it happens I find myself raging, angry, wanting to know why, Why did this happen?, what is the reason for this? And in asking this questions most times I have said things I should not have said, done things I should not have done and a lot of times I have found myself worse of than when I first started. Yes, everything I have reacted based on my emotions I have been completely wrong. With all that has happened to me in the past month, I have done everything, from tears, to anger, I have exhibited almost all the emotional qualities known to man, and each time I found myself drawn further and further away from God and I have pushed away almost all the people who care about me. Why? Because even when I knew it was wrong I still wanted to feel that way. Psychiatrists, therapists usually prescribe drugs or remedies for us when we are in such situations. As for me, I have a song (pinched from youtube, but it has worked every single time I used it).

Heart of Worship by Matt Redman: Simply put it is a heart that we should have in times of trouble. Not only does it soothe me, it reminds me of who created me, who I serve and ultimately who is in charge.

A trick? No, because you can't bless God's heart sulking, angry or cursing, you can't bless his heart by complaining about how unjust the world is, you can only bless His heart with yours in worship.

Your choice your future, the way you react to the things around you, peace at heart, peace in the mind, does not come by active seeking, it comes by the way you react to things around you, a guide? Think of the fruits of the spirit love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance you dont live right by selecting just a few of these, it is a package. Need i describe what they do? No they speak very much for themselves. It isnt easy but I don't think there is anywhere in the bible where it is said that it is.
I am not trying to say that you will never get angry or sad, not trying to say that you will never cry, or be hurt. I am trying to say this though that when those times come focus on the one that promised never to leave or forsake you. Focus on the one that said that He is (not will be) with you always even to the end of the world. You can go wrong yes, but you cant stay wrong with that knowledge in your heart. In these recent weeks also I have thought of John 3:16 so many times and recently remebered Romans 8. God so loved the world, so loved you and so loved me that He gave his only begotten Son and nothing, nothing at all can seperate us from that love. Your choice your future to stay with the knowledge of that love, to live under the umbrella of that love, to hold on to the warmth of that love. To stand and above all still stand in the face of adversities, in the face of strife, in the face of pain and still stand. I am not talking of weapons of warfare with the devil here, because most times we are so geared up to face those troubles, so geared up that we fail to remember that although we are sons of God we are human, like He was when He walked the earth, He felt pain, He cried, He was hurt. Not because of the devil, the devil never prevailed against Him, never ever, not once. At all times, in all situations He always looked up to the father, His choice, my choice, your choice, our future. I have learnt the hard way, oh so hard, to look up to Him, when all is stripped away, when I have everything but also when there is nothing else to look up to. He is the air I breathe. His love, His peace, His promise, I have been quick to jump to conclusions, quick to point a finger, quick to do all but accept the truth, that I am all but human, and only God can lead me through. My choice, my future is in His hands, His alone. It has been a long time coming, a hard time coming, I have pushed all away friends loved ones because of my selfish desires but the God pulled me into Him, I fought but He won, like He won on the cross so long ago, my pains, my sorrows, my hurt, my emotions, He took on His shoulders, beaten for my iniquities, crucified for my worldly desires, what other choice do I have but him, what other hope? He is the air I breathe, He is the song I sing, He is the life I want to live, the path I want to walk.

Another song I love, a song I listen to every night before I sleep, a song that reminds me of who I am and what I should be. A song for you...

To all I hurt, to all I have pushed away in times past, an apology would be far from adequate, God's love however covers all, and my heart goeas out to you, my prayers do as well. I thank you for all you have been to me,all that you still are to me. I love you all.

And may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God and the ever sweet fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with you;

• With you when you show love, love to your brother, your neighbour, even as much as you love yourself (1 Cor 13:4-8). Your choice, your future.
  
• With you when nothing seems to be going right, when your life is shattered, when you hurt so much that it seems like you can;t go on when all that is happening and you are still patient on his word, patient on his promises, patient even when everything still goes wrong, holding on, never straying, holding on always keeping your mind on the cross and the reason for it. Your choice, your future.

The last part of the grace says now and forever more. Not for five minutes, not here today and gone tomorrow, not helping yesterday and today and on a break for the next couple of weeks, it starts now, the moment you say and believe it, the moment you say it and hold on to it, from that moment, forever more.
His love, HIs promise, my hope my future, your choice, your future. I have learnt through no easy ways, I have learnt with my mistakes oh so many mistakes I have made. There is only one way; Easy it isn't but worth it? Totally. My choice my future. I am holding on to it.

Re: A silent cry

So much to say, but no words to describe it, so much feelings and no way to hide it. You are not alone, wherever you are, God sees, He knows, He cries with you, He loves you just as you are, come and receive rest, peace and love. If you have received it, live the life God wants you to live, live for your neighbor.

You sing, you praise,
You pray, you fast
You preach, touching lifes,
In tongues or not,
You are my brother/sister.
You are my life,

You lie, you steal,
Take pills? Yes I know the feeling,
Weed? Or speed?
All for a temporary high,
You drink? To drown your sorrows,
To drown the pain you feel,
Or just for fun,
You are my brother,
You are my life,

Feeling down, weary?
Hurting from a loss?
Loved one?, relationship? Or job?
So messed up that you can't face anyone?
Abused, confused,
Or just tired and wanting to break all the rules,
You are not alone, we are so many like you,
You are my brother
You are my life

We live so caught up with our problems,
That we fail to see the obvious before us,
We were born, without our knowledge,
We were born helpless,
We were born by someone who toiled,
All night sometimes, just so we could live.
Lives may have been lost just to bring you to this world,
Lives may have been lost just to make sure you survived,
Survive you did, here you stand.
You are my brother,
You are my life,

Others have lived before us,
Others have gone through what we go through
Some share, some don't
Examples to learn from, which most times we don't.
One lived to die for us,
One came sent down to die for us,
Sent by His father, to die that we might live.
That we might be born anew, to start afresh,
He is our father,
We are His Life,
He loves us.

No matter where you are,
No matter where you have been,
No rules, no commands,
Not by force but by choice,
Just come as you are,
Come as you will,
But choose to come.
He looks at the heart,
He sees your pain,
He sees the tears,
Just come,
He is our Father,
We are His life,
He loves us.

Come to me all who are burdened and heavy laden,
Come to me and receive rest.
Though your sins be as scarlet,
They shall be as white as snow.
Believe and be saved,
Believe and be born again,
Not by your effort, not by your might,
Like it was when you were born,
The pain, the labour, the suffering and the life,
It has all been done,
It is finished he said.
Believe and be born again,
You are my brother, You are my life,
God loves us all.



Love your neighbour as yourself, touch a life today by the life you live.
Show somebody some love. They need it more than they show it.

A silent cry

You can't tell me how I feel until you have walked in my shoes,
I can't tell you how I feel because I don't know you,
YOu can't walk in my shoes unless you love me,
You can't love me unless you know me,
You can't know me unless you have fellowship with me,
T o be my friend, my companion, my brother.

How can you tell me God loves me when you don't?
How can you tell me He cares when you don't?
You walk past me each day,
Sit by me, smile at me,
Your hi's you chat little nothings at me,
No you don't know me.

How can you encourage me if you don't me?
How do you even know what to tell me
When you don't know what I feel?
You keep telling me the wrong things, thinking you are encouraging me,
You are not, and that is because you don't know me.

I ain't looking for a smile, I need a hug,
I ain't looking for encouragement, I need warmth,
I ain't looking for scriptures, I need you to be there for me,
To hear the cry of my heart.
Not for you to cry for me, but with me.

Money don't mean anything to me,
It comes and goes like everything in life.
Fellowship does because when nothing goes right,
The friendship does,
The fellowship does and its all I need.

John 3:16

There is a passage in the bible, maybe the most famous of all bible passages in the bible John 3: 16 and it says "For God so loved the world that He gave his only Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have eternal life"
A lot of times we do things as christians, that we feel terrible about, we do things that make our conscience prick us so bad that we have a hard time getting out of it, not to encourage sin but then if your conscience does hurt you and you do repent then yeah God has forgiven you, Please go and sin no more. Now that is hard for some of us, because we keep going over some particular sins over and over again. I have this to say, a simple word for you, a simple word for me.

For God so loved the world, this was a world He created, a people He created in his own image and in Genesis 1, He looked down on the earth and was glad for he saw that it was good.

That He gave his only Son, a lot of times this week especially, I have felt really down, really sad, wondered if I was deserving of God's love, but then looking at this passage today, these words came to me, He gave his only son, after looking down at a world, a wicked world, the Sodom's and Gommorah's, the Tyre's and Sidon's, the Herod's killing innocent children, a world of wickedness, a world He had destroyed before for the same set of sins, and God looked down and rather than destroy the world a second time, and go back on his word, He gave us life, in the form of His only son.
If you have commited murder, He gave His only Son,
Fornication, adultery, masturbation, pornography, He gave his only Son,
Drunkenness, drugs, abortions, He gave His only Son,
Poor in spirit, broken hearted, mourning, in pain, He gave his only Son,
It don't matter what u did, cos it has been done before and God still sent His Son, but as always with God, it boils down to choice and this is where we all come in. God loves you, He loves you so much that He opted to give you life where He could have given you death, he opted to send His Son, what more can we ask for.
Whosoever believes in Him shall have everlasting life, not whosoever is pure in heart, not whosoever heals the sick, preaches the gospel, or is perfect, not whosoever obeys all the laws of God, but whosever believes in Him.
We live in a world today, where God is most times a second option, a second choice our fall back plan in times where everything goes wrong and if u feel today as you remember His death and the reason behind it, that your living a life worthy of the reason, then by all means live on. It dont take God's love away from you one bit.
Peter denied God three times in one night, Jesus died on the cross for him,
the Jews crucified Jesus, mocked Him and did all they did, Jesus died for them as well
the roman soldiers that tortured Him, He died for them all,
the soldiers that killed all the little children at the time of Jesus birth, Jesus died for them as well.
He died for you too... Your choice, your decision, your purpose. He loves you.

Happy Easter

Your choice: Your fellowship

It has been said that the Romans were the greatest army in their time and it is said that it was because the soldiers were able to fight as a unit. That and their ability to build roads gave them success. In the last world cup, Italy won not because they had the best players but because they had the best team. Am not here to talk about roads or football. Am here to talk about fellowship.
Fellowship can be defined as a collection of people who share the same beliefs, ideas who come together to talk about experiences, ideals, interests, to encourage each other. At the moment looking around at us,me and you, more especially me, I can sincerely say that the fellowship bit is quite difficult to come by. Not because the people are not there but because most times we are either not trusting enough to share our hearts with people, sometimes because we haven't seen people like minded as we are, sometimes we have tried and failed to get along with people and have felt awkward or left out because we don't feel like we can match up to their expectations. A lot of times we leave all the things we used to do to embrace a new life with Christ and we find out the hard truth, like Paul we find out that fellow christians look at us with the same eye they looked at us with a while back, not trusting and not being open, we can't go back to things of old because our spirit does not agree with them and we find ourselves drifting, a lot of times we drift back to things we used to do before in some cases we take root and begin to grow.
When I talk about fellowship, I am not talking about my best friend, or my drinking buddy, I ain't talking about my father or my mother, not my sister or my brother, not the guy I see on the street everyday that i chat with. When I talk about fellowship:

• I am talking about the original reason Eve was created for Adam: so that he would not be alone, as a companion.
• I am talking of the vows made on a wedding day which are said so many times that they become automatic to us.
• I am talking about the relationship David and Jonathan had back in their day, the relationship Daniel, Shedrach, Meshach and Abednego had to stay strong, when everyone else was eating food sacrificed to idols.
• I am talking of what Elijah yearned for in the wilderness when he asked God to take his life, before God showed him 3000 more people who had the same belief with him
• I am talking of what Jesus was talking about when he looked at his disciples after he was told his family was around.
• I am talking about what the disciples were doing when the Holy Spirit came down on them and they started speaking in tongues
• Paul and Silas singing and praying in prison.

This might not make sense but then here it is, when you were little, your parents sent you out to school to learn with people like you, not because you can't learn on your own(there is home schooling) but because you would be around people like you, to learn faster, to learn quicker and more importantly to give u an environment where you can grow.
If you have made the choice like I have to serve God and God alone, most importantly if you have made this choice recently or even a while ago, if like me you are going through things in life you find difficult to share, difficult to talk about, because of trust issues, because you tried and nobody understood, or you tried and it seems like you are the only one with issues then you are in the wrong place. I am not talking about Alcoholics Anonymous, I am talking about a place where you are not scared to voice out how you feel, not just in a place where you can receive advice or receive encouragement, but a place where u feel needed, a place where you feel you count, a place where you know the people with you are going through struggles like you.
This all seems so blurry at the moment, it seems like it is not making sense, I feel like i should wait a little more so I could structure my thoughts more properly but then, I was in Cardiff yesterday and as I was leaving I saw something that got to me; an old woman saying goodbye to her daughter. It wasn't the goodbye that struck me but the look in the old woman's eyes after her daughter got on the bus, it struck me because it is a look I have seen in my eyes so many times, the look of loneliness that we try so hard to mask, we try so hard to hide. If this message touches you in anyway then it is for you. If not then I thank God for your life.
Two things matter most in our lives as a christian, our fellowship with God, and our fellowship with man, summarized so properly by the savior when he spoke of the two greatest commands, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and might and you shall love your neighbour as yourself".
If you have ever felt alone, felt unneeded, felt like no one cared about you, look at the man/woman laughing out there, the people all around you, they feel the same too, you are not alone, find your fellowship today with your Father first and then your neighbour.

A lot of times I hear that it is a single race this christian race of ours, so we make it out that it is how we get to heaven that counts. By we I mean individually, and fine I agree with that but then if we are to love our neighbour as ourselves that makes you as important as I am, and that makes me as important as I am. Recently I wondered as well why it is only when guest preachers come to our churches that we are willing to come out and confess to things that we wouldn't confess to normally, why we are more willing to talk about our flaws and faults with strangers.

I hope this touches a heart out there, its a note i wrote a while ago, something i felt, something I had been thinking for a long time now.

LONELINESS

A word often felt but much denied,
A desire for company,
A need to let out emotions,
A hug, a kind word,
Maybe just 5 minutes of your time.

The hearts cry for warmth,
warmth inflowing not outflowing,
flowing in from a friend, a loved one,
Oh just 4 minutes of your time.

We search so long, so far, so wide,
for someone to share our deepest fears,
our desires our needs.
Searching but not finding,
seeking but not feeling
reaching out but not receiving
All i need is 3 minutes.

How on earth does it go on,
How does the mind keep on keeping on,
This search wears me out,
Its tearing me down,
Dont know how much I can take,
All i need is 2 minutes.

Time is running out,
the heart turns cold and starts to slow,
all hope slowly fading out,
cos no one seems to know,
How much the heart needs to know
the warmth, the care from a friendly heart to glow..
All i needed was a minute.
To open up my heart, to show how I feel,
to know what i feel.
A minute now gone,
Heart fading away,
mind going numb,
Void of all feeling,
All dats left is loneliness...

I am slowly getting to a point where I get so tired of living this way, where I feel no one understands, where I feel like I am the only one with problems, where I just want to stop trying and just give up, each time I hold on for just one more day, I pray to God for strength to keep going on.

You are not alone. Be blessed and bless others. God loves you more than I do.

Your choice, the first step...

There has been a burden in my heart for so long, a desire to speak out but then I never knew what it was, the words where there but just beyond my reach, whether it was because I was worrying about things I should not have worried about, I don't know, whether it was because of the sick feeling I have felt for so long, I still do not know, but in the last couple of days these words have become clearer and clearer, till they have become so clear that I just have to speak out. The last time I felt this way I said nothing and I know everything that happened after. There are three things I should focus on as a christian, and I mean a real christian, born of water, fire and the spirit. The first is my choice to be a christian, the second is my fellowship and the final one is my future.

God created us in his own image, in his own likeness and gave us the one thing he gave no other animal on earth, free will, the ability to do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted, however we wanted, he gave us the choice as well to do either good or evil, yin and yan or however you want to put it. Now as a christian I have been told right from my time as a kid, that the christian race is a single race and that at the end of the day you stand up and give an account of yourself and all your activities on earth, and the part that always freaked me out as a kid was the fact that all your inner thoughts and your secret activities shall be brought to light. But then I begin to digress...
Now having all this in mind, with all the thoughts flooding my heart and my mind I realised one thing that the period where the race is single with just you and you running it is the race track to the choice, the race track to the decision to serve God and serve him alone, beyond that, you have the Holy Spirit and you have different people put into your life to help you along that journey (again I begin to digress). Now when it comes to making the choice that choice to follow, that choice to serve, three verses come to mind.

• The first commandment: Thou shall have no other God's before me for God is a jealous God (Exodus 20:2-4). This goes hand in hand with the first commandment Jesus stated, Love the lord your God with all your heart, soul and strength (there is no other commandment greater than this.
  
• Joshua's last words: Choose you this day whom you would serve, (Joshua 24:15-end).
  
• No man can serve two masters: (Matthew 6:24-end)
  

A lot of times we claim to serve God, we claim to worship, we claim to be christians, we claim to be born again, but then deep down we know, we know that we have not really made that choice to follow him in spirit and in truth, if it was a wedding vow we made to God we would have left out some vital clauses. Am not judging anyone or condemning anyone, God knows that I as I stand have no right to do that because I am as guilty as the next man.
The first passage stated were spoken to a people who saw God's work as never seen before and not seen since and yet they sinned and grieved God, not once, not twice but over and over again if they found it difficult to make the choice to serve God with all they saw, check yourself again, I have and I still am "Have u made your choice?".
The second passage was spoken to the next generation a people who knew God slew their fathers because of sin, a people who knew God, I mean He made the sun stand still, He made one of the greatest cities in their time crumble without them having to fire a single shot, how much more would a generation have wanted to see? Yet they did not choose to serve. What have I seen? What have you seen?
The final verse literally blew my mind. No man can serve two masters, you can either choose one and hate the other, or hold unto one and despise the other. All my life I have known that verse, never ever have i tied what is spoken of after to it. God will take care of you nobody knows tomorrow, Jesus spoke about Solomon there the richest man in the world not being clothed as wonderfully as the birds of the air. He was saying all this to a people who saw all his mighty works, to his disciples who saww all he did and yet when he was crucified no one stood for Him, again I ask, what have you seen? Nothing, nothing at all.
Having made the choice to serve one master, one holds on, no matter what, instead of acting like the israelites who worship after the parting of the red sea but cry 2 weeks later for meat and water, you act like Daniel and his friends, holding on to their choice even in the face of death. Rather than acting like Peter and the disciples running off at the first sign of trouble during Jesus trial, you act like they did after the ascension, holding on even in the face of death.
Now I am getting carried away.
Reading all these passages made me realise certain things, as christians there are things that we should have let go of. Our lives should be changed. If there are certain things we looked at as ok, we should not see them that way anymore, am not mentioning any names cos if I/you/we have sincerely made the choice to follow, the choice to obey then the spirit in us tells us when we are wrong, and if we have truly made the choice to follow we would obey the spirit.

Not to scare you (even though it did scare me) but then as a last word, Jesus said what would it profit a man if he gains the world and lose his soul. Now we as christians, living our lives serving two masters what are you doing? You are not gaining the world and not gaining your soul, What are you doing? There can only be one master, if you are not for God you can only be heading one place else. So rather than lose out on the world and lose your soul(because of your selective christianity) then you had best embrace the things of this world and know where you stand(sorry if this offends anyone but i couldn't think of how else to put it)

Choose you this day who you will serve. If God then serve him with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind. You can only serve one master, either God or the world. God is a jealous God, you can not afford to have any other God's besides him. He loves you unconditionally, then show him that you are worthy of his love. Enough time spent asking for his grace, asking for forgiveness for things you know you shouldn't have done. Time is now to stand in the gap and be the person God wants you to be, which is to bring people closer to him.

Lift up your eyes to the hills...

I woke up this morning for the first time in a really long time, not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to face the day, having a dejavu -ish feeling(a feeling that I had been in this situation so many times before). I woke up this morning feeling alone, I was searching for answers that I knew I did not need but still wanted anyway. For the first time I asked God if it was worth it, if all the sacrifice was worth it, the pain, the trouble, the position I was in, for the first time I was tired of trying, tired of hoping tired of having faith, for the first time I was saying "Lord if this is your will then I don't want it anymore". Thoughts kept on running through my mind about how I could deal with my situation (the focus here is on I) until I remembered a scripture that had been in my mind for some time now, something I was actually going to talk about but realised I had best first apply it to my life.
I on't know if you have ever had the same feelings run through your mind, ever felt the same way, ever asked God when it wuld be your turn.Read Psalm 121, meditate on it, let each word run through your mind and minister to you, soothe your mind.

I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,

the Maker of heaven and earth.

Are you sad, are you down, are you in a fix, have u been trying and failing for some time now, looks like there is no way out of where you are? Seems like you are running around in circles doing the same old things over and over again? Lift up your eyes to the hills, lift up your eyes to the one who sees, the one who knows, I thought about that sentence ran it through my mind and this came to me, He is on the hill, watching you. He sees the whole picture, He knows where you are right now, He knows how the journey should(not would) end and He is ever willing to show you the way. Just Lift up your eyes to Him and Him alone, all other sources WILL fail you . If not right away then sometime soon. Your help comes from the Lord who made the heavens and the earth, nothing is too small for him, he spoke and mountains were formed, no matter how big your situation is, no matter how impossible it seems, just trust Him look to him and the result is this:

He will not let your foot slip—

he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—

the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon by night.

When trouble comes, it is so easy to go back to the things we are used to, they are like drugs to shut pain out, drugs we use to lie to ourselves that everything is ok and most times if not all the time, we eventually get back to the same position we started from even more frustrated. There is a promise attached to our lifting our eyes to him, God is ever watching and I mean ever watching as long as you are willing to give him the chance to. And this is the best part of this chapter to me He is my shade by my right hand, The sun will not smite me by day nor the moon by night. I have quoted this scripture so many times as a kid and I have never thought of the meaning and it hit me like a trailer; there is one thing we can't do anything about, whether you are rich or poor the sun and the moon touch us all alike in the exact same way, now God is promising us this, the sun will not smite you by day nor the moon by night, in the world today we can point at situations that affect us all alike, I won't mention any but am sure individually we all can point at more than two situations. That it is happening around you don't mean that it will affect you.

The sun will not smite you by day or the moon by night, Just lift up your eyes to the hills.

And finally the promise...

The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore.

It is now and forever more, not just for your present situation but in all situations, he will watch over your life, your going out and coming in, yesterday, today, tomorrow, now and forevermore.

A lot of times we have problems we are scared to share,scared to relate with people not because we don't want to, but simply because they don't understand, and most times your fears are not understood simply because no one else sees them the way you do (if that makes sense). If you are feeling alone because of this, just lift your eyes to Him, He understands, He feels your pain, He is ever there for you.

In my life I have only ever wanted two things, God's peace on my life and a companion. The two things he God gave man before he fell. I had a companion ( had I say) that I lost due to my trying to do things my way (this is the feeling I had this morning) and though people may wonder why it makes me feel the way I do I ask this, you have just two things you desire in this life and one is lost, how would you feel? Yes there are a lot of people out there but all I need is one, just one. This is not about me but then...
Feeling the way I did this morning going down on my knees to ask God why, to ask God how, to ask God for help for guidance, that is human nature but then, if God won't let the sun smite me by day or the moon by night, then most definitly ordinary will not do when I go down on my knees. He sent his SOn down to die for me, to redeem me, to redeem you. I went down on my knees today, right now as I am writing this, I remember Paul and Silas in jail when they sang, I remember Daniel praying to God as he always did even in the face of death, I remember Lionel Pietersen having days to live still yet going about ministering to people. Who am I, to let my problems, my desires to come between me and my God, he does not sleep or slumber, he is there to preserve my life and watch my going out and coming in, today and forevermore, till I meet him again, I fell on my knees and cried out to God,





Here am I Lord,
Here to worship,
here to serve.
Just use me.

Our needs, His desire.

It was a sunny dusty afternoon, there was a huge crowd outside the house the four men were trying to get into. It was hard enough without the stretcher they had between them, but with it, it was impossible to get into the house. Out of desperation, a deep need and desire for help, they passed through the roof of the house. All this to help the paralysed friend they had between them. The story of the paralysed man in the bible, one we know so well. Today just for today, look at this story from a different light. Put yourself in the shoes not of the paralysed man, but the four friends. The bible talks about their faith in going the extra mile to help a friend but think about the feelings behind the extra mile and the end result. Imagine going through all that stress all that trouble to get your friend healed, getting to the master's feet and rather than getting healing, you get forgiveness. I don't know about you but in my mind I would be crying out, "I did all this to get him healed, I don't want him forgiven". That is my heart, and thinking about it this way I am sure a lot of you would be thinking the same way. But then Jesus looked at their faith looked at their heart and looked at their needs and gave forgiveness, forgiveness rather than healing.
I don't know how many of us today say the Lord's Prayer, and I don't know how many of us today actually meditate on the words and what they mean.
"Give us this day our daily bread" our daily bread, what we need to get through the day, the faith, the grace, the love, His everlasting faithfulness, His forgiveness, His Spirit to guide us, "Give us this day our daily bread".
In life today we are always asking, demanding, wanting things, cars, clothes, good food, a good job, good weather, constant light, so many demands all at once and we forget the one demand the one thing God requires of us to love Him. A command that if obeyed would have an impact on our entire life. Just love Him.
Jesus asked once "how many of you would have a child ask him for bread and give the child a stone or the child ask for a fish and you give him a snake". Am asking you all today: how many of you would ask your heavenly Father for a stone or a snake and expect him to give it to you? God knows our needs, he knows our hearts and most importantly, he knows our future.
-So then to those of you wanting the flashy things of life, the good food, clothing and all, be thankful for the grace given to wake up in the morning to desire them.
-To those who want to be able to touch the world, ask for the grace to love your neighbour as much as you love yourself.
-To the people who feel like their life should be a lot better than it is at the moment, be thankful you have gotten this far and be thankful becaues things could be worse.

God is ever willing to help us, ever faithful to never leave us, ever loving to comfort us, ever willing and knowing to give us our daily bread.

A loving relationship

Have you ever felt down, sad, left out, alone? Felt like the whole world is against you, felt llying in bed all day and not getting up out of bed? You did something really silly, something you shouldn't have done and you feel everything is going wrong because of it and you deserve all the terrible things hapening to you. Even worse than that is the feeling that you don't deserve all that is happening to you and so why are they happening?
It all happened in 24hours, from being happy, I was exposed left bare and bleeding scared and asking for my saviour, most importantly being unable to tap into the world of peace; peace that passes all understanding, in just 24 hours it seemed like my whole world turned upside down and I became all alone, from hero to zero, from grace to parched grass. All over the world different scenarios, different feelings, the same questions, Why? What have I done wrong? Why is this happening to me right now? Due to these feelings, a lot of times we lose our focus, we lose our drive, a lot of times we just want to let loose and let go.

It always starts up as self pity, then it turns to anger, and then self pity again(as the thought of you not even deserving to be angry comes in) and then the anger slowly turns to bitterness and that is when you slowly begin to moan, groan and whine looking for reasons that are not there, answers that are not important.
Now if you have ever had any feelings I have had, ever if not all of them then some of them I just want to remind you of some people in the bible who have felt the same way you did.
- Jonah on the boat running away from God's mission to Nineveh (Jonah 1)
- Job losing everthing he had.(Job 1)
- Balaam riding a disobedient donkey (Numbers 22)
- David taking another man's wife (2Samuel 11)

- With Jonah it started as a mission, a mission that Jonah felt God didn't have to choose, and Jonah chose to leave God's mission to do what he pleased. We all know how that turned out even when the fish swallowed him it still took him 3 days to turn around to see the light.
- With Balaam it started out as very simple, God said i shouldn't so i won't, the same way a lot of us today know the word, we know the truth, and yet we choose to compromise, to mix pleasure with the truth, just a little here a little there, God won't be too angry with me he will have mercy on me and yet when things don't happen as planned we almost always get angry/upset at the little warnings giving to us before things truly get out of hand.
- Job lost everything for what he felt was no reason at all, that he had done nothing to deserve it and had he? The answer is no, but he was chosen for that very reason the reason that he was innocent.
- With David it was a case of staying in a vulnerable place knowing the consequences but still staying there anyways and we all know what happened.

For all who can read the places mentioned above so you can relate with what am about to say here.
- Bad things happen to good people all the time, that don't change the fact (it never does) that God loves you.
- Good things happen to bad people, no need to give examples we all see it around us, but if in any doubt ask Nebuchadnezzar.
- You can be used to either help someone up or bring the person down, whichever one it is is entirely up to you. Bath-sheba was taking a bath on the roof(i truly wonder if she did that when her husband was around). To all you guys and ladies dressing and acting to cause havoc, believe me you cause havoc, hope y'all are prepared oe even think about the consequences(seen or unseen) of your actions.
- The time you spend beating yourself up for the bad things that do happen to you, is time wasted, time not spent thanking God for his mercies in still keeping you alive to praise him.

Finally for everyone else who still wonders what I am talking about, if you have ever been in a loving relationship (and I mean a loving one), how would you feel if you loved someone who always left you for trivial things, left you to have fun, left you to flirt with every good looking thing that passed by? I don't know about you but it would break my heart, and seeing as it is that God loves each of us equally and absolutely, I can't begin to imagine as Him the number of times I would get my heart broken each second of everyday, and yet he still loves us.

For all the people who believe they are innocent but feel wronged, I have this to say to you; God sees, God knows, the number of times you get angry but hold it in for His sake, the number of times you are wronged but say nothing for His sake, the number of times you so much desire to let go, but hold on for his sake, He sees and He knows, He acknowledges them and He loves you, keep on holding on.

For all the people who this message touches, I have this to say to you all (me especially), for all the times you got angry, he knows and still loves you, the times you went out to have fun, flirting with all the good things in life He still loves you, you lied, cheated, did some backbiting, gossiping and tried to bring a brother or sister down, He still loves you. Watch the signs and change your heart, if there are no signs, change your heart anyway and thank Him for his mercies.

Finally, I don't know if y'all have thought about this like this but I have and it scares me. What if and I dare to think what if God treated us in the same we treated him? What if He took a break from loving us each morning? What if He took a break from loving us each time we called out to him? What if God did a random choice thing every second to pick someone to give special attention for each second each day? Bad things happen to people each day I know but so many times we use that as an excuse to do so many things we shouldnt be doing in life believing always believing that God would take care of us. This may be confusing I know, this may not make a lot of sense so in summary I will say this.

- We are quick to run off at the first sign of things going smoothly or running well in our life, and so quick to run back at the first sign of trouble.

- We are quick to find someone to blame for our problems in life, no matter how tiny they are, and slow to thank God for each breathe we take.

- We take so many things for granted, including God, breaking his hearts everyday even after he has given his all to show his love for us.

- There are over 6billion of us on this planet and yes I know He is omnipresent, but there is only one of Him. Which would be easier 1 loving 6,000,000,000 or 6,000,000,000 loving one? Yet he still loves us equally.

- We ask for so much each day, multiply it by the number of people on earth, He asks for just one, love Me with all your heart, soul and might

- If God broke your heart, as many times as you break His, where would you be? Take a minute, and hour, a day as long as you will and think about this.

I thank Him as many times as I can each day for his love. Without it I am nothing.

Who Am I to You??

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. (Revelations 3:20)

It is a new year and I don't know how may people all over the world are giving it another shot, another try at whatever sphere of life they are in. As christians I don't know what your past life has been like and I dont know if you are giving God a second chance to do something in your life.
Something led me to ask this question first this year, a self check, a question Jesus asked his disciples so many years ago. Who do you say I am? Who is God to you? (Matthew 16:13-17).

-Is he the one you run to when there are problems in life? And the one you abandon right after?
-Is he the you serve just because of the promises of blessings and the promise of eternal life?
-Is he the one you serve just because you want protection from the evil in the world today?
-Is he the one you serve because of the testimonies you hear in church each sunday, the miracles you see done on tv or on the internet?
-Is he the God of your parents, your pastor, your church leaders?
-Is he the one you spend some time with in the morning or at evening just because you were brought up that way, and it has become tradition to have it that way?

Who am I to You?

You will see if you can read from verse 1 that Jesus asked that question of his disciples just after the Pharisees and Saduccees asked him from a sign from heaven. I dont know what that says to you but this is what it says to me: Church leaders of those times had just come to have a chat with Him and had left and he was warning them to be careful of their messages, their belief, their doctrine. After they left, after a while, He asked his disciples two questions.
The first question "Who do men say I am?" the men of those times, the world of those times, whatever they said that was not important to Him. The same way in these times, people have different perceptions of God, who he is, what he is. And the truth is this, all that don't matter one bit. Not to you, not to me. The second question mattered more to Jesus. "But who do you say I am?" not who the pope says he is, nor the archbishop nor any other great men of God; T.D. Jakes, Bishop Adeboye, so many names, names of great men of God, not who they say God is. That is God for them, God based on their encounter with him. What of your own encounter with him?? In the time of Samuel, Samuel served his God not the God of Eli. In the days of Elijah, his God. The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, also their God. The I am that I am to Moses his God, Emannuel to Isaiah, he could be Elshaddai, Elohim to you.

Who is He to you?

You can't open your door to the one you know not. You can't be searching for the God of all the great men of God and have Him, your personal experience of Him pass you by. You can't love one you don't know or seek who you don't know. All faith all hope is in vain if you don't know your God. Seek his face diligently as your Father, your Saviour not as the Jesus who Paul preached, or the Jesus preached in the churches.
I dont know who this is touching out there I dont know who is reading this message, but Jesus said this, as the greatest commandment. You shall love the Lord, YOUR GOD, with all your soul, all your strength and all your mind(Luke 10:27). In no way did he state the God of anyone else.

The year has started already, where are you with God?? Where is he in you??


My Cry, My Prayer
Every step I take away from you,
Is like a step away from peace,
From joy, from hope, from life.
My spirit dries up within me,
I earnestly desire to hear your voice,
Your touch, your warmth, your peace.
I am nothing without you,
I long for nothing without you,
You are my family, my joy, my all, my life
You are the reason I am all that I am
The reason for all I can ever be
All that I would ever want to be
Like a lost sheep away from his shepherd,
Like a deer panteth after water,
That Lord is how much I long for you.

The first Chapter: Love

Love is a word that is always used but hardly understood. A word used to describe both physical and emotional feelings. No matter the context it is used in, there is always a deep sentimental feeling of attachment attached to it. Love has been defined so many times in so many ways by countless people. Books have been written about it. But I am not talking about the process of love, not talking about the chemistry, the physicality or whatever name u can give to it. I am talking about the feeling. I will paint several pictures here and I'll leave u to make out your own meaning.

• A king betrayed by his son. His kingdom was taken, his wives raped out in the sun, his house was taken his life was sought. A king still loving, crying out for his son, even till his son's death (2Samuel 18:33)
• A man made to work seven years for a wife, cheated, lied to and made to work for seven more years(Genesis 29:20-29)
• One man defiant of the laws of a country, still holding unto God in the face of death (Daniel 6:10)
• Three men refusing in the face of death to look at any other face but that of their God (Daniel 3:17,18)
• An outcast taking care of a wounded man on the wayside even where his people didn't (Luke 10:25-37)
• A Father, watching his innocent Son die on the cross, crucified by the very people he came to save(Matthew 27:46)
  

There are so many examples of love. Real love, people holding on even when all seems to be going wrong and all this is human. Imagine the amount of love God has for you.ometies we may feel that we don't deserve it and in all reality we don't. But that is where love comes in.And the kind of love am talking about is this:

• Using a cheat, a liar, a trickster to build the foundation for his people. Am talking about Jacob. He was turned into a champion(Genesis 32: 28)
• Using a murderer, a deserter, a man who lost the will to speak in public. Am talking about Moses. From a sheep herder to the leader of the greatest exodus in history(Exodus 3 & 4)
• Because she saved a nation, she was included in the lineage of the son of God. Am talking about Rahab, a prostitute. (Matthew 1:5)
• Betrayed Jesus not once but thrice, came out as the first leader of the church. Am talking about Peter.
• A rainbow, a promise of love that God will not destroy the world in his anger again.
• A promise of love, his Son sent to die for us (John 3:16)
  

Again there are so many examples of God's love towards us. Sometimes I dare to think that it is not possible, but then I think of the countless examples in the bible and I dare to believe, I dare to hope that his love is unfailing, ever strong, ever sure.
In a movie "The Mexican", a question was posed that touched me. 'If you truly love someone, when do you get to that point where you give up on that person', and the answer was simple. "Never".
In life it is said people fall in and out of love, but in truth if u do love someone, no matter how it hurts, u never give up on them.
There's one place where that love is real, where that love is undeserved but is still given, there is one person who WILL NOT give up on you. It is all tied together, to have faith, to believe you must first have love(Matthew 22:37-40)

There is no love without sacrifice, no love without pain.
Without love there is neither faith or hope.
Love overlooks all faults, embraces all mistakes, accepts and changes.
I could go on and on but then i'll end with this. No matter where you are at the moment, what you have done in the past, what you may be planning in the future. Right now at this moment, God loves you and is ready, ever ready to accept you. Just give him your all, love with your heart soul and strength. Take the first step.

The Genesis

Recently I saw a picture in my mind. A picture of a child his father and a jigsaw puzzle. The child trying to fix d jigsaw puzzle on his own, trying and failing so many times and getting bitterly frustrated, trying because he so much wanted to do it on his own, wanted to be able to bask in pride knowing he had done it on his own, failing because he thought he could put the pieces together simply by matching the edges, failing because he refused to look at the picture held in his father's hand.
A lot of times I have done really silly things, things I have regretted even as I was doing them, a lot of times I have wanted to change and someway, somehow I have fallen back. Lust of the eye, lust of the flesh, pride of life; alcohol, tobacco, drugs, sex, lying, cheating, stealing, u name it. Things I have known were wrong, things I always wanted stopped but never had the courage to. I tried so many things to correct my wrongs, one after the other they failed and each failure brought about a feeling of anger, a feeling of sorrow, and a deep so deep feeling of loss. If u have been there and I know you have then u know what I am talking about. With all my failures, my inability to succeed, by succeed i don't mean in education, at work or even financially, i mean personal failure with your relationship with God because you can be rich in life and poor at heart. U can be rich in heart and poor in spirit. In this life I have never seen anyone rich in spirit and poor in heart at the same time.
What am I trying to say here, with everything that has happened there is only one way we can succeed where others have failed (including us) that child can only complete that jigsaw puzzle by communicating with his father. By communication he will have a glimpse of the picture his father sees, by communication with his father he would know(not have an idea) of what piece to put next. By communication with his father, he will know his fathers voice feel when he is going wrong and correct himself.
In the same way only by focusing on what is important can we communicate with our father. How do we communicate by constant prayer, how do we know His voice, how do we identify His plans and purposes for us, by reading His word.
How do we focus on Him? By focusing on three elements; faith, love and constant communication.
Having tried everything else but this and failed, I don't have to be as wise as Solomon or as old as Methuselah to know that there is only one way to life and I am holding on to it.

As I lay down at night to sleep, these words kept ringing in my brain, "love is pain". Words probably inspired by events going on around me. It made me start to wonder and ponder on the greatest display of love ever to grace this planet. And i remembered a verse recited so many times, recited by many but thought about by a few John 3:16.

For God so loved the world: Without discrimination, God loved the world, not the Israelites, not a group of people but the world. The murderers, liars, thieves, name it, as long as u are in this world, God loves you. There are people who may say they are not in the category of people labeled as sinners, but the truth is if we were to pass through the fine comb of a perfect life we would all fall short of the pass mark. God still loves us. I thought of the number of times Jesus said we were to forgive our brother if he sins against us (490 times) and i wonder if we were to forgive someone close to us, our heart 490 times how much more strangers who have no reason to do right by us.
SO many times we have been hurt, things have come up, fights, letdowns, heartbreaks by friends and family and we get so angry we give up on them and I begin to wonder have we passed through anything like what Jesus passed through? Thinking about it over and over again, I don't think so. Let me give u some scenarios.
A friend, a close friend someone who has ate, slept, suffered with you, someone who knows the kind of person you are, a wonderful person betraying you to be killed for money. Judas betrayed Jesus. His life for 30 pieces of silver. Compare that with similar situations in your life (friends gossiping about you, wife leaving u, kids turning against you, name it and think of that feeling) remember this though, Jesus had flesh like us and he knew that he would be betrayed. did that change a thing? No it didn't.
Your best friend looking you in the face when you are in a tough spot, a life or death situation and denying you not behind u but in your face. If it were you what would you do? it didnt change a thing.
Add to that the same set of people you fed from nothing, who saw you heal people, cast out demons, raise the dead and call u king a week earlier now shouting that you should be killed, the people you love with all your heart, saying they don't want you. What more could u ask for? Sometimes in life, I have been disappointed by things happening around me and felt let down by people: friends, relations and family. I realized one thing: It begins to get to you only when u lose d faith you have in them, it chips and eats away at your love and it wears u out.

God gave his only son: he gave his only son for the most ungrateful set of beings in the universe. You would think Sodom and Gomorrah would have learned from Noah, you would think that the Israelites over the years would have learned from their fathers, you would think we walking the earth now would have learned from history but no we keep doing the same things over and over again. Anyone would have given up on us. The time of the flood signifies that it nearly happened once. But no. We have always been given a chance by God. How many times have we given the people around us a chance? How many times have we used the words never again? How many times have we given up what we love the most for people that have hurt us over and over again?

Whoever believes in him will have life: This is the most important part of the whole verse, because it signifies a lot, it was given freely. And even though it was given freely, with so much love and sacrifice, it wasn't forced on us, it is our choice to make. Do u want it or not. DO u need it or not. I believe we all do but that is my belief.

Thinking about it all I asked myself if i have any right to give up on anyone or anything at all and the answer was no। Truth is nothing good ever comes easy, ever ever ever. So the best thing of all although free shouldn't be as well.

Down but not out, nearly giving up but still holding on...

A girl disturbed, emotional troubles,
A boy disturbed, sexual emotions,
A student disturbed, problems in school,
A man disturbed, with drug problems,
They are fighting, trying to stop the feeling,
They are tired want to let go
Girl by running,
Boy by sleeping around,
Student by quitting,
Man by needing one more fix,
They are thinking, these thoughts, these emotions, won't they stop? Hold on...
They are thinking, I can't possibly hold on anymore. Don't give up
The thoughts come not from outside but from inside,
Fighting them would be like fighting yourself,
Giving in to them would be like freedom, but freedom from what?
For the body but not the heart,
For the mind but not the spirit. Hold on, don't give up.
You may be down but it definitely isn't the end.
Hold on on don't give up, because doing so, letting go, giving in...
You lose in the long run.
You don't have to handle it on your own.
It's best you don't handle it on your own
Fighting yourself when you know all your weakspots?
Its like running towards a sniper with no weapons,
And surrendering, giving in to those desires, to those thoughts, becoming prisoner to them?
Is giving in to what you are fighting against in the first place.

Examples are many in the world today and in the past. There are times when we want to do things, things we know we shouldn't be doing but things we still want to do, and most times we ask the question "Why do I have these thoughts?" and that question is what disturbs us more than anything else. Guess what? It is our human nature to want to be bad, from birth till death, it is in our blood. If anyone tells u otherwise, that person must be kryptonian because the desire to do evil is dug in so deep that it is almost never rooted out. Now knowing all this what do we do? We hold on, and the truth is this, it is when we are at our weakest that we know our strengths, it is when we try to show our strengths that most times we show our weakness. Leads me to the words of the song "he that is down need fear no fall".

There have been men, women, people all over the world who have felt weak, felt down, felt troubled and wanted to give up probably even you reading this at the moment, going down and nearly giving up. There is something someone you can probably hold on to and it seems like those handholds and footholds are not there and it seems like we reaching out but still sinking.
There's one person we can hold on to,, one person we can learn from;
One man, who changed the world, touched the life of so many people and when things changed, when he was persecuted for things he did not do, when everyone had abandoned him, when it seemed like there was no hope he did not give up, he had joy, joy that came from an inner peace, an inner peace that came from a firm foundation. That man died for you, for me, sent to do a job no one asked him to, he died that you could live and in so doing paid the price, a one off price for you, for me that we could have something to hold on to.
A hand reaching out to us to pull us up when we are down, someone to call out to when it seems there is no hope left.
Are u down?, nearly giving up?, trying to hold on but still drowning, falling or sinking? Look no further there is a hand waiting to pull you up, someone waiting to hear your cry for help. You are not the first and most definitely won't be d last. Reach out and hold the hand, reach out, cry out and hold on, that is the most important thing of all. Hold on, you are not alone.

He that is down need fear no fall
He that is low no pride,
He that is humble ever shall
Have God to be his guide.

Living a life or Living the life...

A lot of people pass through life, without achieving anything meaningful, more like zombies or robots than anything else, basically doing what they need to survive, they pass through life without achieving half or even a quarter of what they could achieve in this life. Sometimes it is because they are not sure of what it is, sometimes they don't know how to go about it, sometimes they haven't even thought about it. Taking a look at myself I asked the question what makes me different from the Isaac Newtons, William Bells, Wright brothers, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfreys, people that started from nothing but became somebody just by what they did. Also thought of people in the bible Noah, Abraham, Moses, Joshua, David, Daniel, Esther, there are a lot of them and their names were specifically mentioned because of something they did. We also have the Hitlers, Idi Amins, Abachas, people that are known and remembered not for good things but still remembered nonetheless. And i asked am I less human than the are? Or are they more human than I am? The truth is no they aren't. So what makes them different from me, from the rest of us. And in all the stories am sure it started out as a dream. A dream which became a definition of purpose, from a definition of purpose to a belief in that purpose, and that unshakable belief in that purpose brought about a determination to achieve by whatever means necessary, and achieve they did.
We all have dreams some have big dreams some have little ones but we all have dreams anyway. Some people don't take the dreams serious, some do but don't hold on to the dreams, some do but lose focus and still others hold on to it and never let it go and go on ahead to achieve great things. It is what we do with our dreams that define us, that determine who we are, whether we will be 1 in a billion, 1 in a million, 1 in a thousand, 1 in a hundred or unique.

I have a dream,
I have a purpose,
and I have a strong belief in that purpose.
I am determined I am strong willed,
I have my eyes set on my goal.
I will achieve it,
I will do great things in my life.
I will touch the lives of people around me.
No matter how long it takes or how hard it seems,
I have my goal, my purpose, my mission
and I will achieve it.

Feeling broken, tired,...

How I feel?:
I feel tired, sick of my life, tired of going through the same processes over and over again, sick of being at this point where I have to kneel and ask for forgiveness once again, sometimes it seems inevitable because the more I struggle against sin, the harder i seem to fall right back into it and it sickens me.
I feel lonely, all alone in this fight against sin, don't have anyone to share my fears with, because it seems most times they wont understand, feels like they are too busy to listen, most times I am scared of reaching out because I am scared of rejection, other times because I cant put into words how I feel, the thoughts that keep plaguing me over and over again. It feels so hard this path I decided to take sometimes I feel it would be so better off remaining in sin doing all the things I so much want to do.
At this point I ask myself how can anyone love me, when I can't even look myself in the face, ask myself how can God want me back when I have been through the same things so many times before, its tearing at me, eating at me, these emotions, I shed tears, I weep because I cant seem to feel his presence anymore...

Truth be told even though I resent myself, God still loves me, he still loves you, no matter what he is ready, he is reaching out his hands calling out to you, or you have to do, all we have to do, because I am as guilty as everyone else, is call out to him, kneel down one more time and ask for his forgiveness... Nothing can separate me from God's love, nothing can restrict me from the fact that the blood of Jesus Christ was shed for people like me, the promise is ours if only we choose to accept it. It is a race a continuous race to the end. I will get there, so will you.

Romans 8.

Why does God love us?

I wondered after some experiences I had about the above question and I wonder how many people have asked themselves this... Why does God still love us?

As human beings at least once or more times we must have done some considerably bad things... I have, and am sure a lot of people out there have too. I wondered if God sees us as little children as in lets us explore within a set boundary but stops us or at least warns us when we begin to stray beyond those boundaries via our conscience and all something like a perimeter alarm beeping when we leave those boundaries and the alarm gets fainter and fainter as we go further and further away from those boundaries. Usually when we are "exploring" we keep telling ourselves that we know what we are doing and we have everything under control and really that is usually the case at the beginning but it almost always ends up as something else. So the thing is this, we have been at this junction quite a number of times, telling ourselves we know what we are doing and ending up elsewhere and I ask at this point why we don't apply the same principle for all areas of our lives.

There are so many examples, am quite sure that as you read the ones i put in here you will be able to think up some more, I'll just name a few examples from the bible, examples that most of us may be familiar with and some of us may not...

- Abraham: agreed with his wife to have a child since they felt that God was wasting too much time in fulfilling his promise. Slept with his wife's servant Hagai and had a son Ishmael. The war between Ishmael and Isaac is still going on today in the form of their children in the Middle East.

- The Israelites: Almost every generation rebelled against God but each and every time God gave them a chance to come back to him, repeatedly warned them and was always ready to forgive them when they repented...

- Balaam: God expressly told him not to curse the people of Israel but he still went along and it took a donkey(an animal thought to be really stupid even now) to save his life(I don't know if anyone else sees the irony in that). Numbers 22.

- Jonah: Tried to run away from God's work ended up in a storm first and then in a fish's belly... Spent three days in there and lived to tell the tale... Actually took 3 days of sober reflection and prayer before God brought him out of the fish's belly. The book of Jonah.

- David: Coveted his general's wife, slept with her, killed his general then married his wife, and probably wouldn't have thought much of it if God hadn't warned him and punished him. Guess what? The woman gave birth to David's heir and also was an ancestor of Joseph the earthly father of Jesus.

I don't know if any of us can relate to one or more things that I have written or maybe have more to add that others can relate to but we can all realize one thing, that people who disobeyed God in one way or the other paid for it. I have one more example that a lot of people probably have never thought of in this way...

There are a probably a lot of things each and every one of us wouldn't do over and over again, and there are other things we just conveniently forget to do...

-Shopping sometimes for things we don't really need, closing our eyes to the people out there suffering everyday against helping people in need...

-Forgetting to talk to God everyday but never forgetting to go to him when we need something or are in trouble.

-Wanting to do God's work our way and also wanting God to fulfill our requests our way.

-Getting mad at God when he doesn't do the things we want when we want them and always running to him to conveniently ask for forgiveness when we don't do the things He wants us to do.

There are so many examples here also, just put in the ones that I could really remember at the moment.

No one is perfect i know but make an attempt to look at the picture, God has given you so much in your daily lives all he is asking is for you to come to him so he can give you so much more. He has always given us another chance.

why have beliefs changed?

Have u ever wondered why there are so many problems in the world centered around faith? Where we stand in our general beliefs, it has broken so many churches, formed a lot of others, created so many factions in different churches and even created new beliefs. Have you ever wondered why a long time ago all that mattered was your name and where you were from and right now so many other things come into play especially religion. Once upon a time you could tell a lot from another person by their dressing, their speech, and basically where they were from now it is virtually impossible. Have you ever wondered why all the vices practiced in the old days, vices like drinking, smoking, drugs, sex and a lot others haven't changed? But people keep finding whole new ways to worship God, whole new meanings to the bible some even twist the Christian faith to suit themselves and I ask myself why? Smoking and drugs may have been refined but its still done the same way, drinking is most definitely done in the same way, the world still refers to kamasutra, gay people are still gay so why are we changing things read in the bible, why are we changing the way we treat God, God hasn't changed, He is still the same God of yesterday, he will be the same God tomorrow